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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Patience (08/21/08)

TITLE: The Basement
By Yvette Nietzen
08/27/08


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The heaviness makes for a difficult sleep. The pain and sweat wakes her in the dark of the night. Rising from the mattress, she fumbles her way to the bathroom. Back in bed only twenty minutes, the pain shoots in again, stronger.

Reaching out to wake Rick, he muffled as he turned on his side.

Before Rick would face her, hugging her as they both fell asleep. These days, he sleeps with his back toward her. Loosing his right arm in the war, the recovery has been lengthy and painful for both.

Carol again reaches out, and nudges Rick with her feet.

Rick gives out a muffled sound as Carol softly says ®Itís time.®

Startled, Rick leaps out of bed, scuffles in the darkness before switching on the light. He looks at his wife and realizes the time has arrived for the birth of their son.

The hospital suitcase, packed two weeks ago has been sitting patiently by the front door.

Rick struggles with dressing, feeling crippled with only with one arm. The simple task that he has taken for granted all his life have now become difficult. Anger sets in easily these days.

Carol and Rick are now ready for the short drive to the hospital. Carol begins to breathe in the middle of the living room.

Looking at the suitcase, Rick gives his wife a kiss on the cheek.

®Iíll be a minute® Rick quickly makes his way to the basement.

In between breaths, Carol yells ®What are you doing in the basement? ®

All Carol heard was the scuffling of boxes.

®Itís here, I just saw it.® The frustration of one arm rummaging through boxes begins to increase his heart rate and anxiety level.

Breakthing.

®Hurry! Letís go! ®


®Got it!!®

The hours pass, the tension and fear fills Ricks heart as he paces the room and tries to comfort his wife.

The final ok to enter the delivery room was given by the head nurse.

Samuel is born, and Rick with his left hand, presents his son his first gift.

His treasured baseball glove.


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This article has been read 470 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lois Hudson08/28/08
Sweet smile-bringing ending!
Joy Faire Stewart08/28/08
I like that you don't know what Dad is looking for until the end. Very touching story.
LauraLee Shaw08/29/08
This was well-written. Would've taken it up another notch had you expanded it, painted the scene a little more, but it is very good as is. Your ending is excellent.