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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Patience (08/21/08)

By Joanna Jayaprakash


“You look good,” he said, his eyes darting from her face, to below her neck right down to her toes, before establishing eye contact once more. Though fully covered from chest down to her feet, Angelina felt nervous by the compliment and looked away coyly. She was young and new on her job. It was her first invitation to a business cocktail party, and she felt uneasy with the scrutinizing gazes upon her physical form. She had received several flattering remarks that night, but somehow this man’s words and look aroused feelings that she wasn’t ready to handle.Ken was probably nearly twice her age, and by the way he carried himself, she knew he was very experienced with women. Tall, physically fit, flamboyant and materially successful; he was a lot more attractive than the younger men in the room. When their eyes locked, she was certain that magnetism was mutual. He asked if they could meet again, but she politely declined. “Thank you for inviting,” were the simple words she uttered, as she bid farewell with a firm handshake that separated them till only God knew when.Only phone calls were exchanged periodically, and soon acquaintance evolved into friendship - a meet up would be too much of a temptation, they both agreed. He was a married man who lived a bachelor life, while she a single lass who behaved as if she had already been wedded. With different faiths and beliefs, their lifestyles varied tremendously. “Ten years down the road, you are going to look back and regret that you didn’t enjoy all you had,” he always said. There were boundaries she had to adhere to, while he questioned, “What is right or wrong?” He spoke into her life issues – asking her reasons of hiding in a cocoon and not wanting to explore the world in her youth. He showed care, and she took his advice whenever appropriate. Though she was rather cold and definitely not permissive, he was still there. He was the only one with enough patience to bear the long wait that fostered a relationship so hard to find. They could chat for hours about anything under the sun. Everything about him impressed her, and she liked him a lot more than any other.Being alone, away from home, he was like no one she had ever known. It was in the way he spoke – harsh but honest, strong but gentle, firm yet kind – like a blazing fire yet the calming waters. He understood her problems, and never judged her painful past. In him, she found strength and hope for the journey ahead. He alone filled the void of her lonely soul, while he covered the emptiness of his broken marriage with the company of many women. Being romantically involved with each other was something they both knew to be forbidden, thus long distance friendship was the only acceptable. However, as hard as Angelina tried to suppress her emotions, she had begun to fall in love with Ken. “I am not having an affair with him. I want to love him as a friend,” she persuaded herself.Finally, after almost half a year, she agreed to meet him in the spur of the moment. Totally unplanned, Angelina came to meet him outside her house, inside his car - just as she was. Her heart was filled with both fear and pleasure of meeting the one so dear to her heart. He slowly touched and kissed her cold palm, unleashing memories and feelings she had long burried within, sending shivers through her bones. “I can see that you want me. What is stopping you?” He exclaimed in frustration, as her hands retreated after a few still moments.” Speechless, Angelina sat frozen as the truth sank in. She had made him an idol in her life – something she cherished more than God himself. In her dreams, Ken was her knight in shining armor, swiftly carrying her away from all the troubles of the world. In reality, he was a married man who was not, and could never be, the true love of her life - only she was vainly attempting to create a fairy tale. As she kissed him on the cheek in finality and took her leave with a heavy heart, she knew she had been foolishly impatient. But she walked away, though tearing, with the dignity of not straying further, telling herself, “It’s not your time yet.”

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This article has been read 319 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/30/08
I'm sure this is a struggle many have in their lives - whether with members of the opposite sex or not. I could feel her struggle.

This might be easier on the eyes if you put the story into paragraphs and then put spaces between each paragraph. One big block of text is a bit hard on the eyes.

I could feel the passion in your writing. Thanks for sharing it.
Mary McLeary08/31/08
Yeah for the main character!! As a reader, I love vibrant characters who do what is right. I hope you will write more. The piece would be easier to read if you used indented paragraphs.
Dan Blankenship 09/01/08
Excellent work. One of the top five for sure!

I couldn't stop reading, nor did I want to.

I agree with what someone else said - it needed an extra space in between paragraphs to make is read better.

This was so real and believable that I immediately began picturing people that I've known who have experienced this in real life.


You have real talent!

Keep writing.

May God bless.
Dan Blankenship