The Official Writing Challenge
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Loved the memory scene, but I was a little confused as to who was who and what was going on, really.

I liked that part about they werent entertaining his ghosts, why bring hers into it. (my words, couldnt remember exactly how you put it)
08/30/08
Very nicely done with the dialog especially. I also had a bit of trouble figuring out the backstory, but it could be me.
08/31/08
Nice dialog, but the problem was confusing to me. Who is the silent witness and how does patience fit in? You did a good job peaking my curiosity.
Many of the comments didn't make sense here, i.e. "What if someone recognizes us?" - but, knowing from your "hint" that this was previously written and just a part of a larger writing - that explains our confusion. Small parts of larger wholes can rarely stand alone. Your writing style is nice, but the Writing Challenge is supposed to be written to the specific topic at the given time within the 750 word limit. I would like to see what you are able to write under those guidelines. :)
09/02/08
I agree with the comments above. Also, watch your punctuation - several small errors in that area. I do like what I read of your story!
Im think the whole story is worth pursuing, and you have a talent for dialogue- the longer tale would iron out the continuity issues- go for it.
One place needed a question mark and a half-finished sentence might look like.....etc.
I was interested in what the MC was feeling at such a sentimental moment. You got my attention and I would like to read more! Blessings, Bella PS Thanks also for your thoughtful comments on A Young Boy's Perils. :o)