The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/28/08
Oh, my goodness, I wanted to know her answer!!! What a difficult situation.

It remindes me of the story in Song of Solomon, if you believe it's a trilogy. Who does the young girl choose? The king who was after her for her looks alone or the shepard boy who she grew up with and loved her like a sister.

Good story!
08/28/08
Good story.

I loved how you made enough space in between the paragraphs, and how you made the story flow without hesiatation in events.


[The pregnancy had brought on such a sickness for her in the morning and she didn’t want anyone to hear her sick. She lately had been using the barn as a cover. She had to milk Sherry anyways, so it was the perfect alibi for her new morning ritual.]

I would have changed the first sentence to not have "scikness" and "sick" so close - sounded kind of weird. And I would have said, "Lately, she had been..."

But other than those two things, EXCELLENT work.


Almost every story I have read today is making me believe EVERYONE really put a lot of effort into this week's competition.

I don't think I've ever read so many GREAT entries back to back.

Once again,
good job!

May God bless.
Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

08/28/08
"scikness" = "sickness"

Oops.

08/28/08
What a lovely romance. I was completely and totally engaged in this story. Beautiful descriptions.
08/29/08
I really enjoyed this story, could have kept on reading
09/03/08
Very nicely done--reads like a published novel!