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I prop myself on my bed with my laptop on my lap and ponder.
"Patience.... how should I write about patience. Hmmm"
I think of all these scenarios in my mind.
Hmmm...Maybe I could be a child that is dealing with a handicap and has to wait for people to do things for me everyday. Or... I'm a mom who has to take care of this child with a handicap. Maybe I could a young women who is..
My mind is whirling and then suddenly...my thoughts are interrupted by a little voice echoing in the hall. "Momma...do you love towels?"
This sweet little girl with big brown eyes and blonde shoulder-length hair rushes into my room. Her eyes twinkle with excitement and she unfolds my beautifully "Martha Stewart" three-folded towel and stretches it on the floor. "You can make a magic carpet out of them!!"
Without thinking I blurt out in a not so quiet voice, "Ally! Sweetie! Pick that up, and put it back where it belongs! Mommy needs some quiet time!!"
She picks up the towel and runs away to her room. All I hear a heart-wrenching moan. Oh no. I blew it. Again. I’m really try not to be impatient.
This is something that I have been really focusing on. Trying not to raise my voice, but stay calm. I have a friend who is the epitome of patience. She has three children, two hers, one adopted. She suspects the two older girls have Asperger’s-a mild form of autism and is quite a handful at the best of times. I come over for a coffee one day; her middle one, Sana-about 6 yrs old is having a fit. She can't find her socks and is coming unglued!
"Mommy! I can’t find my special Barbie princess socks!!!" And she cries hysterically - over socks! My reaction would have been, "It's YOUR fault for not putting them away where they need to be, YOU find them" (in a equally aggressive tone) But no, my friend says, "Sana, sweetie, just calm down we'll find them." (She’s interrupted by the sob/talk) "I know. It’s ok. I need you to calm down first. Breathe in…Breathe out…there. Now lets go find these oh so special socks.”
She chases her up the stairs and tries to pinch her cute little bottom. They find them and then a couple minutes later her oldest is having a meltdown, then someone called someone a “pooh-pooh head” then…it's something else...then it's something else. But she remains calm...never raises her voice. It truly is amazing that she contains her composure, and speaks her truth quietly and clearly.
So here I remain…staring at my computer screen. (I still don’t know what to write.) I can still hear Ally sobbing in her room.
I should take care of this. I take a few deep breaths...Breathe in… Breathe out…and step into ally's room.
"I’m so sorry for yelling at you like that. Where's that magic carpet?" And we play for a couple minutes, and she welcomes me into her vast and extensive world.
I'm finding that my girls just want my attention more than anything, and if I stop and take two seconds from what I'm doing they are happy. I'm getting used to the small interruptions during the day, in fact I'm starting to welcome them.
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