The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/21/08
Amazing! You totally captured my attention with this piece. Very good job!
Your descriptions of the revealing actions of the older couple are excellent, and I loved your last line.
(You need a "don't" in your third from the last line, I think.)
Beautiful thoughts and very visual,I could "see" the older couple.
08/22/08
Very well done!
08/23/08
Quite lovely. I like your use of repetition, and your compelling descriptions of the old couple.