The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
I'm glad your mc finally made the right choice and quit flirting with danger. You did a good job of showing how she was led astray by her emotions.
08/22/08
interesting piece makes me want to know if she made her decission and acted upon it.
08/23/08
I like the present tense of this piece--it adds to the moody atmosphere.

I was a bit confused by the situation, and not exactly clear on the nature of this relationship. It's almost as if there's a back story that is assumed to be known by the reader.

I see tons of potential in this story, and hope to read more from you in the future!