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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Charade (08/14/08)

TITLE: I Wonder
By Jean C Prentice
08/17/08


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The trees they act as cover.
The branches hanging low.
To provide it capacious.
To what is down below.

I dare not go to close.
I stand away from there.
For the entire world will see.
Whether it is he or she.

The others all around there.
Were all eager for to see.
But no one came to close.
For only one would share.

There world is hushed in silence.
No one is allowed to sing.
Each one aware of miracles.
That once behooved a king.

I think of all the whispers.
I think of days gone by.
I think of stories told.
They almost made me cry.

I think of when a child.
I banged upon a drum.
While others shouted stop.
Before your hand goes numb...

The flowers wouldn’t bloom.
The apples would not appear.
If nature changed its course.
And bees’ did not come here.

Bambi is the answer.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 08/21/08
This is very interesting! It's like the more you read it something different clicks into place. Thanks for sharing it!
Jan Ackerson 08/22/08
This has a childlike innocence to it that is very appealing.

A note on punctuation of rhymed poetry: you don't need a period at the end of every line. Punctuate it as you would a sentence.

I'm not clear on the meaning of the "Bambi" at the end.

A poem with lots of potential--keep writing, writing, writing!
Teresa Trotter08/24/08
Need to watch your spelling. There (right before the word world) should be spelled their. Also... I don't get the connection to charades? It's not mentioned one time. I too also don't get the connection to Bambi either.

Though I feel you have good form and rhythm, you might want to try to clarify things just a little bit. I look forward reading more of your work.