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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Beach (07/04/05)

TITLE: I've Come Home
By Lauren Bombardier
07/07/05


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I stood at the shoreline in quiet contemplation. The sand squelched between my toes as I reveled in the sensual feeling. The gulls were raucously fighting over a tasty tidbit to my right. To my left, the moan of a speedboat as it hauled its skier to parts unknown zoomed by. I breathed in and my olfactory senses were assaulted with such a smorgasbord of aromas that I could hardly keep on my feet rotten seaweed, dirty birds, wet dog, dead fish, sweaty children slathered in sunscreen. Underneath it all was the scent of the sea, salty but so refreshing. My eyes caught the colors of the water as each wave swelled and broke and then promptly forgot them. There were just too many to remember. I breathed in again and closed my eyes. The speedboat was gone and the gulls had found something or someone else to bother. The kids had moved farther away and their laughter barely reached me. I listened. Wave upon wave crashed onto the shore, mesmerizing me with their lullaby. I heard. The sound of the sea beat on the shore as it beat in my veins and I knew I was home.


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This article has been read 717 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips07/12/05
I can promptly say that is different. True, some don't like crowds and hovering birds. Very good. God bless, littlelight
Shari Armstrong 07/12/05
A nice contrast between the busy and peaceful. There's a lot that could be done with this :) Very good descriptions.
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/14/05
Very discriptive. I know what you mean about the water being too many colors to remember! I love the ever-changing colors of the ocean. Good job!
Phyllis Inniss 07/14/05
You've packed a lot of impressions into such a short entry, but it was interesting to read and experience the changes you mentioned.
Pat Guy 07/14/05
I would love to see "the too many colors" again. I feel the same...about the sea. Thank you for taking me back. Well done.
dub W07/15/05
Wonderful tight stagement, every word packed with meaning. Thank you, I really enjoyed reading this.
Daniele Moskal07/15/05
I cannot believe you packed so many powerful images and descriptive words in such a very small short-story. Very well written my friend. Thanks for sharing!!
Beth Muehlhausen07/15/05
Sensual!!!
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/05/07
You had some great imagery here and set a real mood in just a few words.
Jacquelyn Horne07/05/07
Hey! This is a great beginning for a novel. Very well done. Very descriptive.
Joanne Sher 07/05/07
Wow - talk about packing a punch in just a few words! So visual and tactile, Lauren. I agree - good start for a novel. Are you gonna write it? ;)
Catrina Bradley 07/06/07
Wow! I was at the beach, truly. Great imagery.