The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/14/08
You describe things well and this is a real life discussion. I can imagine this talk happening. Very nicely done. Keep writing.
Very good realistic dialogue. A suggestion, you don't need to add the word (pause). Your reader will know. Your writing is smooth and great job of leading into the point of the story.
08/19/08
You write dialouge very well. This article was almost Socratic in nature. The disadvantage is that the reader could feel like they are being lectured to.

It could be turned into a short sketch very easily.

08/19/08
Good dialogue structure. The message doesn't necessarily need dialogue, though. You could certainly just write a devotional with all the points you used. Or have the characters observing a game of hide-and-seek and comment on one or two of the points. A great concept!
You really got me thinking with this. You brought up some really good thoughts, and I found this to be very enlightening and thought provoking. Great job!
Nice writing and lots of notable content. Good job. :)