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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hide and Seek (08/07/08)

TITLE: Can't hide from the rapture
By Alica Hall


A single strand of gossamer gold floated in the breeze of the open door, as blue eyes peered anxiously through the tiny crack. No one would find her here. She crouched in silence, listening for the faintest sounds that anyone was even remotely close to finding her. There were so sounds. So she continued to sit precariously crouched. Then she noticed the errant stand that posed a threat to her victory. She smoothed her hair back, not wanting any indication that she had ever been there. Surely no one would ever find her hidden so carefully under the sink in the churches ladies restroom.

Tensely she continued to wait, but still no one came. Had everyone else been found? Where were they all? She couldn't stay hidden all night.

Finally she opened the door of the cabinet and extracted herself from the cramped space. What a relief to be out of there, There was nothing comfortable about being in there. Silently she crept over the cracking vinyl floor towards the door. She felt for the handle only to remember that the door was already open as her hand slid into the cooler air of the hallway.

Silently she tiptoed in the direction of the large staircase that would take her back to the main floor. A covered window, illuminated little of the path that she would take. Very carefully she took a step, and then another. Even in the darkness she knew this place like the back of her hand.... well actually better than the back of her hand. Who really pays much attention to staring at that?

Finally she reached the end of the stairs. The golden light of the kitchen was beckoning her to come to its warmth and security. But why was there no noise? Where was everyone else? It seemed so strange to be in the church when it was so utterly silent.. Each step seemed to echo off the walls of the fellowship hall. Each sound was magnified in her mind. Surely the rest of the girls couldn't be this silent. Where were Erika and RaeAnna? Where was Kala and Lindsey? “Oww!” She exclaimed as she bumped into the pew that was sitting in the middle of the hall. But she continued on, nothing could deter her now. “Where were they? Where had they gone? What was going on here?

Finally with a loud creak, she pushed open the door to the hallway right outside of the kitchen. There was no way to silence that noise. And it would continue its agonized song as if slowly squeaked to its original location. Now the golden light from the kitchen spilled its buttery light from underneath the door. At least it was light. At least it would seem a little less scary. She tried to push the thoughts of the hobo who had lived in the church aside. That wasn't real. It was what the older kids used to scare the younger ones.

She pulled the door open with a “woosh” and hurried inside. No one was there. It was as completely empty as the rest of the church had been. Tears sprang to her eyes as the sickening thought occurred. “What if the rapture had happened? What if that's why everyone was gone? She shook her head trying to fight the tears that were already spilling down her cheeks. The triumph of making it safely to base without being caught was a hollow one. It didn't matter if she'd been left behind. “No!” she said aloud. “I'm not alone.” She wiped the tears from her face, smoothing away the raw emotions.

Then the kitchen cabinet under the sink popped open. She screamed in absolute horror... to discover that her Sunday School teacher had hidden underneath to scare them all. She hadn't missed the rapture. She was only in the middle of the game of hide and seek. She found her own hiding spot and prepared to wait for the next victim, readying to instill a little holy fear.

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This article has been read 487 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Racheal Chand08/14/08
It was good. I noticed one error, but it didn't take from the story. Keep up the good work.
Yvonne Blake 08/14/08
ooooh...that would go through my head too! I like your descriptions. I could "see" the darkness. Well done.
Patricia Turner08/16/08
Good suspense and a cute story. Just double check your spelling here and there, and please keep on writing!
Joshua Janoski08/21/08
I like how you built suspense with this one. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happened next.