The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/01/08
A cute story, but you switched tenses between past/present, so I wasn't quite sure where the story was going. I liked the characters and I could relate to wanting to do something 'fun' but having to do 'homework' :)
Try putting the thoughts in italics next time-it makes it easier to follow with who's doing what and keep an eye out for the past/present words and try to keep them all the same. This has a lot of potential-thanks for sharing! ^_^