Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Telephone (07/17/08)
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TITLE: Anytime Minutes | Previous Challenge Entry
By cori williams
07/23/08 -
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“Okay class be careful during the Christmas break, see you in three weeks, Merry Christmas!” cried Mr. Cori. That bell marked the beginning of the three-week Christmas vacation. He had been looking forward to this day for weeks.
“Hey James, hold up, I wanna talk to you” said Mr. Cori, signaling for James across the room.
James replied, “What’s up Mr. Cori,” eyeing a female classmate as she was leaving. “What, you got a present for me?”
“Actually, James, I wanted to talk to you about the Christmas break” replied Mr. Cori. “I have been hearing some really troubling stories about your after school activities.”
James laughed and responded, “Mr. Cori stop trippin.” “Don’t worry ‘bout me, Ima be aight.”
“Is that a promise?” asked Mr. Cori. “Yesssirrrrr!” replied James, “I’ll be alive and in my seat on January 10 looking fresh to death with my new kicks and fly gear. I may even let you hold my new IPhone, if you promise not to take it away from me.”
“James”, Mr. Cori said while reaching for a sheet of scrap paper, “I want you to call me when the New Year rolls in.” “I want to make sure your okay.” “Dats weird, Mr. Cori, but okay” replied James while turning and heading for the classroom door. “Be good Mr. C, see ya next year!” yelled James from the hall.
Two days later Mr. Cori’s cell phone rang. “Hello” he answered. “Mr. Cori”, its James, “I was just checking to make sure you payed your phone bill.” “Whatcha doin?” inquired James. “I’m about to walk in my church sanctuary” answered Mr. Cori. “Oh, my bad, Mr. C, I’ll talk to ya later” replied James.
A week later while riding in the car with his brother Eric, Mr. Cori received a phone call. “Private?” “Who is this calling me?” Mr. Cori wondered out loud. “Who is it bro?” Eric asked. “I don’t know” replied Mr.Cori. Mr. Cori answered, “Hello.” “Mr. C what’s up?” replied a cheerful voice. “James where are you calling me from?” asked Mr. Cori. “The caller ID says private.” James answered, “I did that on purpose Mr. C; I wanted to see if you would answer.” “Whatcha doing tonight Mr. Cori?” James inquired. “I’m going to a Christmas Eve church service James, you wanna come along?” Mr. Cori inquired. James responded, “Mr. Cori, church is for Sunday.” “Today isn’t Sunday.” “Besides, I got plans with da boys.” You know…” [Bang! Bang! Bang!] “Oh Shiii, I mean Shoot”, yelled James “Mr. Cori I gotta go!” James said in a hush voice.
Two hours later Mr. Cori’s phone rang. “Private?” he wondered again. Mr. Cori answered “James, stop calling me private.” “Who is James?” replied the voice on the other end. It was Shelly, Mr. Cori’s girlfriend she was calling from her office. “Oh, my bad Shelly” replied Mr. Cori. “James is one of my students.” “I gave him my number and he’s been calling me private.” “What’s up?” he asked. “Cori are you still going to the Christmas Eve service tonight?” asked Shelly. “I’ll be there”, he replied.” “Hold on okay, I got another call.” It was James. Immediately, Mr. Cori asked, “Where are you James?” Somberly, James answered, “Mr. C, I’m fine.” James then asked “you think I can come with you to that service tonight?” “Sure James, no problem” Mr. Cori replied. “What time does it start?” James asked. “7:30 p.m.” answered Mr. Cori. “Okay, Mr. Cori see you then.” “Okay, James” Mr. Cori replied. “Shelly!” shouted Mr. Cori, realizing she was on hold. Nervously, he pressed the green button, but Shelly had already hung-up.
[5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Happy New Year!]
James hollered, “Hold up, Malik, I forgot to call my teacher.” “Your teacher” replied Malik. Mockingly, Malik added, “What you forget to turn in your assignment or something?” Looking around cautiously, Malik warned, “Yo, James, we need to be out, its dark and these dudes ain’t feelin’ us round dis way.” “Okay Malik, replied James, let’s start walking.” “Mr. Cori pick up the phone man,” James said anxiously. Malik warned again “Yo, James, pick up the pace, I think I hear someone comin.” Not listening, James replied, “Man Malik, I hate this new IPhone. “Finally, it’s ringing.” “Hello, Hello…Mr. Cori it’s James, I made it. Happy New Year!” Suddenly, Malik turns and yells, “Yo! James, Run, they got guns.” [Bang! Bang! Bang!] “James…James are you there?” replied Mr. Cori.
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Remember to start a new paragraph every time there is a new speaker, for instance.
"Mr. Cori?"
"James? Is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me, I-"
See how there are three spaces and three lines? That way, even if there are no dialouge tags, the reader always knows who is speaking.
You have a very interesting storyline here, I'm curious to know what else will happen to James. ^_^