The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 697 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a very interesting story, but I'm having a hard time following who said what.

Remember to start a new paragraph every time there is a new speaker, for instance.

"Mr. Cori?"

"James? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, I-"

See how there are three spaces and three lines? That way, even if there are no dialouge tags, the reader always knows who is speaking.

You have a very interesting storyline here, I'm curious to know what else will happen to James. ^_^
07/27/08
The story was interesting, but confusing. It was hard to keep up with the speakers.