The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/25/08
Your story demonstrates the saddness children feel when a family breaks apart. It's heartwarming to see a relationship between father and son restored...if it's true, I'm happy for you.

07/25/08
This is a very nice story. Loved the memories.

I did wonder how it fit with the 'Telephone' topic. Maybe if you rearranged, or told the story in a different order, starting with the phone call he had died. Then moving on to the memories.

Great essay.
07/26/08
Well written, although the title made me think it would be different than this. I think you could have spent more time on your relationship with your father instead of the graduation.
Well done. Keep writing.