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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Anger (01/24/05)

TITLE: There She Blows!
By Diane Johnson
01/24/05


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There she blows! No, I’m not talking about Moby Dick. The “she” is “me.” For this reason, this entry I submit is more of a confession rather than a story for the weekly contest.

God has been dealing with me and my anger.

Ironically, (or most probably because of Providence), you can imagine my surprise when I found that the Weekly Challenge word for this week was “Anger.”

Oh, how my heart is aching right now, because I feel like I have blown it again.

It’s Monday morning, and I had my coat on and was headed out to the garage.

Now, I don’t know about you, but Monday mornings are usually hard for me. I commute to Chicago, and most times it takes a lot of energy just getting to work.

This morning was no exception. My car wouldn’t start.

Now, last night my dear husband noticed that my car was “dinging” because of the key that I left in the ignition. But hold on, the key was not in start position. You see my husband and father-in-law put on one of those automatic starters on my car, so that when I come home from Chicago to the train station, I can start the car and allow it to warm up a little before I get to it and drive home. Unfortunately, there is an additional part that is needed, so in order for the automatic starter to work, I have to leave my car key in the ignition. My car has a warning “ding” that tells me I have left the key in it, but it usually goes off after a few minutes, but sometimes not. So, last night my husband wanted to make sure my car started. It did.

However, this morning, after I was all ready to battle the winter weather and the Monday blues, I turned the key, and my car wouldn’t start.

Immediately I felt myself loosing it. Now usually I would start rejoicing about having an excuse to stay home (I know that sounds terrible, but it‘s the truth). But after all the effort I had made to get ready, I really wanted to go.

Well in my anger, I worked myself up to a frenzy and literally made myself sick. So now because I feel sick and my car is sick, I called off work. (I told you that this was a confession, so please don’t judge me too harshly. Thank you.)

I keep asking God how he can use me with this temper of mine.

Oh, I have all kinds of theories on why I have a temper -- such as the many hurts, abuse and disappointments in my life.

I have even tried to laugh about my anger as I kidded with good friends of mine saying that I don’t really have a temper, I’m only “passionate!

Seriously though, I have come to realize that my anger comes mostly from two things: (1) when things don’t go the way I wanted them to; and (2) I have no patience. I always thought myself patient, but I don’t know now if I ever was. I thought that as I grew older, I would be more patient, but for me, I think it’s just the opposite.

I am saddened because I know God has so much more for me, and that until I allow him to prune me from dead branches of quick temperament, I will be like the ones in these two scriptures (taken from the Life Application Study Bible):

Proverbs 25:28: A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.

Ecclesiastes 7:9: Don’t be quick-tempered, for anger is the friends of fools.

My heart cries out , “Oh Lord, please deliver me from the tempest waves of anger that wash over me!”

With God’s faithfulness and mercy, I look to the day when I am delivered from my anger and what I call the Moby Dick syndrome of "there she blows!"

Thanks for letting me blow off steam.


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This article has been read 806 times
Member Comments
Member Date
paula burbidge01/31/05
waves of empathy and flowing out to you as I recognise myself in what you have written
Karen O'Leary01/31/05
Your opening line immediately captured my attention. Best wishes with you anger. Thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Karen
Kathy Ellis01/31/05
Confession is good for the soul, but change is even better. Your entry describes what we each have in us at some point or other.
Norma OGrady02/01/05
Thank you for sharing this. I know it touched more minds than just mine...
Yeshua Bless
Marion Coleman02/01/05
Just continue to look towards God. Remember,we are in his care. Keep praying,God will surely take away your anger.

Marion
MILENA ASSENOVA02/02/05
i relate to you 'coz many times i have felt like just like that, when nothing seems to be going right, but that is the evil ones plan so we can loose control and upset God. thanks for sharing. God Bless You
Joanne Malley02/03/05
Adorable! Very cute ending.
Cheri Hardaway 02/04/05
I liked your opening; great attention getter! And I liked the line about being pruned from the dead branches of quick temperment.

God will not let you down. Keep crying out to Him.

I think we can all relate to what you have written! Thanks for sharing!

God bless,
Deborah Anderson02/05/05
I so appreciated your transparency in this piece. God bless you.