The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/24/08
Very nice story.

You need to work on formatting and spacing. The reader gets lost Also, let's see more emotion from the characters. Make me feel what they feel. Make me want to keep reading.

Good job.
07/24/08
It would be hard growing up with a father in jail. Very creative way of using the topic of the telephone in a touching story as this.
It would help the reader to put an extra space between paragraphs.
Keep writing!
07/29/08
I enjoyed the story and could really connect with Candy, especially in the last couple of paragraphs.