The Official Writing Challenge
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07/18/08
Oooh...chilling sci-fi story and I hope it STAYS sci-fi in real life! Very compelling read...very mysterious, though with a name like "Santani", you just LNOW evil tidings bode just around the corner. (:

One little thing: I didn't go back to check for sure, but did the MCs name change? Or was it a nickname? In any case, this is good story and very suspenseful!
07/18/08
Oh-never mind! It's a nickname! ( :
07/20/08
Wowzers! This was AWESOME! It reminds me of Creepshow, or Tales from the Darkside...
LOVED it!
07/20/08
Great Sci-Fi story and a great warning on how even the best of us can get into trouble if we let our guard down.
07/20/08
Shiver!!! I was hoping she'd wake up and it was a dream. This sounds like a Twilight Zone story.
The names were a bit obvious; you may want to make them a little more subtle.
Good writing, I guess...still shivering!
Wowsers! What a cool take on the topic. I'm so glad this is only fiction and that it NEVER becomes a reality.

Very well written and drew me along from start to finish. Fantastic job girlfriend!
07/21/08
You really built the suspense in the second half - my skin began to creep! I was hoping it was just a dream too, but as it turned out - a chilling warning to not take the enemies 'opportunities'. Good work.
07/21/08
Yikes! Great telling of a chilling story. I'm not usually a fan of Sci-Fi, but this was very intriguing.
Wow, Marlene. This was definitely different from most of your other entries. I thought it was very smart writing. This story really got me thinking, and I will probably re-read it and think about it some more.

This was a wonderfully unique offering for this week's topic. Thank you for sharing.
WOOO HOOO Way to go Marlene!!! It's up the ladder for you Missy to Level 2. Well done... this was a super entry. You go girl!!!!
You're moving up to level 2! I'm so happy for you! You deserve it. :)
I felt the suspense from the first, and my heart is still beating a little too fast now! C.S. Lewis wrote some wonderful science fiction, and so did you. Great job.
Congratulations, Marlene! Chilling, and well done.
07/26/08
Wow! I can see why you placed with this one. I liked the dialogue in the 2nd section -- it reads like a skit, or a play.
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