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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Memory (07/10/08)

TITLE: Grandma Clara's Golden Bowl
By Julie Paulsen
07/16/08


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Where am I? Is it nighttime? It’s so dark. I should be sleeping, but I’m not tired…and where am I? Jesus, help me! Do I hear footsteps? They’re very soft and quick…if only that wall didn’t block my view? Please, oh, please come in here and tell me where I am. Jesus, help me fall asleep…

Is that someone sitting there…or just my imagination…oh, if it wasn’t so dark in here maybe I would recognize them. Should I ask, or should I just lay here and be still until it’s morning…but I don’t even know if it is night! If someone would please, just turn on the lights. Come unto me and I will give you rest…oh, thank you, Jesus.

I need to stop breathing so deeply…just relax and go to sleep. I’ll just pull up the sheets closer to my face and pretend to sleep. Maybe I’ll drift off and wake up to find out this is a dream… this isn’t like anywhere I’ve ever been. And where is Ted, I need my husband… this bed isn’t big enough for us both…where did he go? I need to reach out and touch him; then I will be able to drift off…

Maybe I slept, I think I did… Is someone still sitting next to my bed? Should I speak? I feel frozen, but I need to know where I am…I’ll just lower these covers a little and face my fears…I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me…


“Who are you?” If there’s no answer than I’m dreaming…

“Grandma, it’s me, Donna.” Oh, I’m so relieved; it’s someone I know. Why is Donna sitting here in the dark, she should be at home with her family…

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital.” I don’t like hospitals, I don’t believe in hospitals and doctors, she must be lying to me…but why would my granddaughter do that?

Why am I here?”

“Grandma, after the concert at Ravinia last night you fell backwards off the steps at your house and hit your head. “ Yes, I remember now, the family reunion and everyone was here…what a perfectly lovely evening…but where was Ted…and Eileen…my daughter is the one who takes care of me, where is Eileen?

“Where is Eileen?

“She’s at home sleeping tonight and will be here in the morning.”

“Oh…?”


“Grandma…”

“Yes…”

“Everything’s okay, you can sleep and I will stay right here next to you.”

“Okay…”

I trust Donna, and Eileen will be here soon, now I can go to sleep…this bed is awfully small…and I miss Ted…why is it so dark in here? I can’t sleep, I’m not sleepy, but it’s dark, so it must be night time…I wonder where I am, this doesn’t feel like my bed…I must try to relax and sleep…help me, Jesus…help me, Jesus…

Maybe I slept…my eyes were closed for a very long time…but it’s still dark in here…is that a person sitting next to the bed? I feel so afraid; I need Ted. Who is that person…I must not be afraid…


“Who are you?”

“It’s me Grandma, Donna.” Oh, good…”sigh”...but why is Donna sitting here in the dark, she should be at home with her family…this is a tiny bed…

“Where am I?”

“You’re still in the hospital.” Where is Ted…and where is Eileen…how did I get here?

Why am I here?”

“Grandma, you fell backwards off the steps at your house and hit your head. “ Why, I remember that…everyone was here for the weekend…what a wonderful reunion…thank you, Father…But where was Ted…and Eileen…my daughter is the one who takes care of me, where is Eileen?

“Where is Eileen?

“She’s at home, sleeping. She will be here in the morning!”

“Okay…”

“Grandma…everything is just fine, it’s okay for you to sleep. I will be right here all night long and you can talk to me whenever you need anything…okay?

“I love you, Donna…”

“I love you, too, Grandma.”

I must have been sleeping, but I don’t feel sleepy…why is it so dark in here…it must be morning…if someone would only open those curtains or turn on the light…this bed is so small…Ted would never fit in here with me…is that someone sitting next to the bed…

…do not be afraid…do not be afraid…do not be afraid…


Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come…before the silver cord is severed, or the golden bowl is broken. Ecclesiastes 12:6 NIV


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This article has been read 296 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/18/08
Oh my goodness! What a heart-searing story! This really gives me insight into how it must feel for my dad. He has Alzheimer's and I know he must be afraid often.

This a very well-written entry and what an impact at the end-wow!
Judy Doyle 07/18/08
My mother had Alzheimer's. I was so wrapped up in my grief of losing Mom, I never thought about what she might have been thinking or feeling. Thank you for your insightful piece.
Marlene Austin07/19/08
Well written, sensitive piece. Very appropriate title and verse. :) Nice job.