The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/05/08
You have some good pieces in here! The only thing I wanted, was to know more about the characters. Such as, for example, I didn't want to 'see old bob' I wanted to know him, did he do anything in particular, such as a twinkle in his eye when he says a familiar phrase? His grandson/son, etc. Show us more, there is definitely a story to be explored here-keep up the good work! ^_^