The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/29/08
Hmmm, quite a different POV than usual here. I kind of figured out who it was after the first few paragraphs. The opening was interesting with the rats, though I did wonder about the "smote in my breast" line, it seemed a tad out of place-with the rest of the dialouge sort of modernized. Otherwise-good job! ^_^
I was touched with the familiar and how you used it in this story. Keep writing.
Cousins with very different lifestyles but with the same goal. Very nicely done, remaining true to known events. :)
06/03/08
Interesting, and quite original. Stories based on Bible characters are quite difficult. You did well.