The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 553 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/29/08
What a trip! I felt like I was literally going 'round and 'round here! The fast action of this piece is good, but a little confusing when it jumps into the cousins being 'grandparents'. Otherwise-good stuff! I love the line where cousins can be good best friends. Indeed they can! ^_^
This reads like a poem, so the paragraphing was a little difficult and detracted from the flow. You covered details well. :)
This read like a poem, and the meter was smooth flowing. I'm glad they're not my cousins... they'd wear me out very quickly. It would probably look better set out as a poem. Well done Pat :-)