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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)

TITLE: Sheba
By Kim Clendenin


Choking back tears, my chest was so tight from holding back my sorrow, I thought it would burst. I was so broken hearted and no one cared. There was no one around to hold me and listen and tell me everything would be ok. There was not one single person to comfort me. I was all alone. The pain was so deep and it hurt so badly. Poisoned words that could never be taken back; leaving scares on a young tender heart. But, there was one who never failed me. I ran outside calling her name. She was always there and always come running.

My dad brought her home one day. She had been abused and therefore feared all humans. Her name was Sheba. She was a Doberman pincher and I was the only one she would come to. I believed it was because we understood one another.

Now that I look back, I wonder if I had a special way with animals, or if it was Godís gift of comfort to me.
I donít know what I would have done without her in my life. She was my constant comfort to me during the days my dad was an alcholic and my parentsí constant fights. Sometimes their frustration was directed at me, making me feel everything was my fault.

Sheba was the one that listened to all my pain, the scares that had been inflicted for a life time. I would spill my tears in her silky black coat. Occasionally she would lick them away. She listened to every word I had to say and I knew they were safe with her. I knew she understood how I felt because she had been hurt too. She was ever so patient, letting me lay on her and hug her for as long as I needed. We would cuddle in the shade and when all my tears were spent, I would imagine the pain she had endured and then I would comfort her with hugs and pet her and tell her how much I loved her and needed her. She was my best friend. I donít know how I would have made it without her.

My dog wasnít special. She won no awards; but she comforted me when I was a small child all broken hearted inside. She was my hero, my champion, my confidant, and my everything.

Crying and broken
She doesnít care
All your secrets spoken
Safe and secure

Like a diary
Locked up tight
She held all my secrets
Without a doubt.

Her fur soaked my tears
If she didnít wipe them away
Her heart beat a rhythm
And calmed my fears.

Godís little gift
Godís way of healing
Godís little kiss
Godís way of giving

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This article has been read 417 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Carol Sprock05/22/08
I was immediately captured by your first paragraph as it set not only the general context but also vibrated with emotion that only could be expressed with Sheba. I'd challenge you to go with the specifics of that scene instead of stepping back from it into more general information with the following paragraphs. Showing the details of it, engaging the reader in the emotional swirls, would express everything you talked about without you having to explain. I especially liked the phrase "spill my tears in her silky black coat." The verb choice and adjectives--something about it, anyway--touches something deep in me.
Yvonne Blake 05/23/08
Even your prose was written with a poetic style. You know how to use words to show emotion.
Twice you said "scares" when I think you meant "scars".
Good writing. well done.
Norma-Anne Hough05/24/08
Very touching story. I liked the prose at the end. Well done.