The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/16/08
You have included excellent concrete, descriptive details. Some of the phrasing sounds a bit rough in minor ways, though they didn't affect my ability to enjoy Jemimah's story. (An example: both their mind, body and soul--both involves two things but you then listed three.) I would have liked to get to know Jemimah even better--her character is strong, particularly when you share her thoughts.
05/16/08
You've shared a creative story. Continued blessings on your writing!