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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: In-Law(s) (05/08/08)

TITLE: That Crazy Old Man
By Carole Robishaw
05/09/08


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“Her father-in-law is crazy, you know. Look at the old fool. What does he think he’s building out there with all that gopher wood?”

“Well, I heard he’s hearing voices.”

“Yes, well, like I said, he’s crazy.”

Pretending not to hear what the town gossips were spewing out, she rushed past.

Sigh, if only I could understand what he is doing, then it wouldn’t be so hard to take the anger and threats from people she had always thought were her friends. He is acting like a crazy old man. He’s over six hundred, if a day, and I don’t know why we have to do what he says. If only I could just get Japheth to stop going along with this silly idea. Why can’t he stop this foolishness and join my father in the family business. I have no brothers and my father has asked Japheth more than once to come and work with him, but will he? No, of course not. Foolish men! Wasting time and energy on something no one’s ever even heard of. Something no one even understands. An Ark, of all things. And these animals! I think I’m going to go crazy myself soon.

Oh, no, now what?


“Japheth, what are you doing? What is that creature? It looks dangerous.”

“Don’t give me a hard time, just help me. This thing is even harder to control than that long necked thing. What was it, a giraffe? Go, shoo, stop following me!”

“Ow! Japheth, those feet are wicked, I’ve never seen a bird this big, where are it’s wings? It is a bird, isn’t it?”

“Father called it an ostrich. He said we need to collect her eggs, but then it followed me all the way back. I can’t seem to get rid of it. Here, look at the size of the eggs, why, I think we could all eat from just one of them. I’m not sure if we’re collecting them to eat or to hatch later.”

“Ah, good Japheth.” Noah exclaimed. “You’re back with the ostrich eggs, I see momma ostrich isn’t any too willing to let them go. Quickly, we’re almost done, get them put in the Ark, and be sure to bury them under enough straw to keep them warm.”

Noah bellowed over the noise of the animals.

“Come family, it’s time to enter. God has said we are done; this is the last of what we needed. There are some strange things happening. Look at how dark the sky is getting, and it’s still midday. I’m not sure, it could have just been all the restless animals, but I’m positive the ground itself shook a while back. Quickly, quickly, there’s no time to spare.”

As we all scurried to carry the last load on board this strange creation of Noah’s we saw a huge flash in the sky. We stood in awe, murmuring at how beautiful and odd it was. None of us had ever seen such a thing. The flashing continued, and then came the sounds, huge, terrifying boomings. It had to be the end of the world, she had ever heard anything like it before, it was even louder than the all the anvils banging together in her father’s shop could ever be.

“Oh Japheth, husband, we’re surely going to die. The sky’s so black, and those jarring flashes of that light and the noise, please, where can we hide, is there no place safe?”

There was another loud boom as the gangway closed and sealed. Terrified, she collapsed in her fear, unable to move.

“Here, come quick, and see this.” Noah called from the top deck. “Look, here, out the opening. Look, this is rain.”

Is that what all that pounding is? Rain? Rain. What a strange name, what does it mean?

“Look, it’s water, coming from the sky. Rain.”

Noah was jumping around, waving his arms. Then he looked at the ground. The rain was coming fast. It was getting very deep.

“Oh God, no! This can’t be what you meant to happen. Let me open the door, we can save some of these people.” Noah pleaded as he fell to his knees, but God heard not, and soon the screams stopped. There was only the sound of the rain pounding down on them, and those loud booms with that jagged light.

“Oh Japheth.” She whispered. “Maybe your father’s not so crazy, after all.”


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This article has been read 525 times
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Sara Harricharan 05/15/08
Very creative here! I liked that you chose this minor character of Noah's DIL to tell the story. The POV shifted though, from a first person sort of to a second person with the "We" and "us" otherwise, this was good! A fresh voice! ^_^
Colin Swann05/15/08
I like reading pieces where the writer elaborates a Bible story and gives a good picture of what could have really happened behind the scenes. Well done. Enjoyed! Thanks!
Lyn Churchyard05/16/08
I like the different POV for the story of Noah. The voice was very good, watch however, changing from first person to third person as in "Terrified, she collapsed in her fear, unable to move" which i think should have been "Terrified, I collapsed in my fear, unable to move.". Very well told story thought. Good job!
LaNaye Perkins05/18/08
I love to read bible stories that have been written by a different POV. Well done my friend.
Jan Ackerson 05/18/08
Clever idea!
Laury Hubrich 05/18/08
Here is a pretty yellow box for you! I loved this! Wonderful job. Just a little problem with POV but other than that -- awesome work! Very creative!
Laury
Debbie Wistrom05/19/08
I love the story behind the story. Well done. I like the part with the ostrich eggs.

Your title is perfect.
Beckie Stewart05/19/08
I too am a big fan of Bible stories told to help you imagine what people were saying and doing. Like it.
Julie Paulsen05/20/08
The title is what drew me in but the story kept me there. Nice job!
Joy Faire Stewart05/21/08
I enjoyed your MC's voice, very believable personality.
Marlene Austin05/22/08
Believable characterizations. Nicely done. :)
Joanne Sher 05/23/08
Congratulations, Carol, on placing sixth in your level with this piece. Great job!