The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/15/08
The ending caught me by surprise and I had to smile. You got through that build-up to meeting your in-law very nicely and you gave just sufficient detail to convey your tension. You did a very good job.
Heehee! Good job with the suspense here, I liked how you showed how worried she was, and especially how you stayed within the POV. That was great-the ending was even better where it turned out to be a 'gravy packet'. Cute! ^_^
This flowed smoothly. You conveyed your MC's emotions very well.

Bet she goes out and buys gravy packets to take home. ;}
05/15/08
It's amazing how nervous we can get about certain situations when we don't need to. I certainly felt nervous with you in the story.
05/16/08
As a country girl I identified with your character. I also felt immediately at ease when you got to the in-laws house- his mom and the smell of pot roast. Goodood job!
Well written story, I liked your MC's voice and felt her fear and tension. I'm also grateful for packet gravy. Well done.
Clever ending...after 23 years of marriage and I still can't make gravy as good as my MIL.