The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/08/08
I thought this was a good article, though it concentrated a little more on mom's look I thought then the siblings. As a mom, I was screaming inside - stop put down the hose. I am glad no one got hurt as they innocently made rainbows.
This is fantastic. What a tale! It started out sounding like Ralphie narrating the Christmas Story and only got better. You turn a phrase with talent.

Especially love this "His hands flailed like he could take flight."

Only kids would see the rainbows and not the danger.
Great Job. I'd like to see a ribbon on this entry.

05/08/08
What a funny story!
I think a little more about the kids instead of the mother would have fit this topic better, but the whole escapade was funny!
Good job. Keep writing.
Oh, how I know that stare. We never gave it a name in our house. We never wanted to talk about it. Even today, I'm a wife and mother of two teenagers and my mom can still stare at me and make me cringe. Your writing brought back many wonderful memories. It was nicely paced and kept me interested from start to finish. Nicely done.