Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sibling(s) (05/01/08)
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TITLE: Better Than a Sister | Previous Challenge Entry
By Carolyn Cyphers
05/06/08 -
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“Come on, you know we’ve always been “sisters”. I couldn’t believe the incredulous look on Joyce’s face. I suppose it was possible that she had never really thought I’d meant it all those times we played Barbie’s together, when my doll had her Midge hold the bridal bouquet.
“I never dreamed, I mean, that I would really be your Maid of Honor! Are you sure? I guess I always thought that maybe I’d be a Junior Bridesmaid, but Maid of Honor?” She splayed her hands upon her cheeks in utter astonishment and wonder, her smiling eyes, crescent verdant moons shining with delight.
“Ha-ha, oh…” I just nodded my head, loving the look of surprise on her sweet face: her upturned nose and dimpled cheeks so prominent when she flushed. I suppose I understood her discomfiture and surprise. I was six years older and had spent the last four years away at college, but I couldn’t believe that she didn’t realize just how important her friendship had been to me all these years.
“Joyce, in all the time we’ve been neighbors, the years of separation just never seemed an issue. Do you remember when you were just a tyke, your mother kept me after school until my mom got home from work. From that moment you were “my” baby sister. I got to play with you, feed you, and keep you happy while your mom got dinner on the table. Thereafter, it seemed we spent every afternoon together. I got to teach you everything I knew about playing school, badminton, detective, and finally building the very coolest Barbie house ever.” That twinkle in her eye when her face lit up disclosed in no uncertain terms that she remembered.
“Those were great times, weren’t they? When I look back, I remember our backyard picnics the best. Cheese sandwiches,Mallomars, and a tall, ice cold…
“Dr. Pepper!” we both hooted in unison.”
“Was there ever anything else? What would we have done without dear Bamble and her crates of the heavenly nectar!” Joyce could never pronounce Thelma, her next door neighbor and god mother rolled into one, lovely homemaker who taught us both the merits of frugal living; her only splurge being that glorious monthly home delivery.
“Of course, there were some narrow escapes, too. Do your remember playing baseball in your backyard, and just my luck, when I hit the ball it broke your bedroom window out.”
“HA-HA…how about the time I came over to your house and started feeling sick. I went to the bathroom, and fainted there on the commode!”
“Well, I’ve always tried to forget that one! Ha-ha-ha, you always have had a weak stomach, especially when it came to my boyfriends!”
“Well, let’s face it; some of them were beyond nauseous! But to be fair, now looking back on them, they weren’t so bad. I think I was just jealous because they were taking you away from me.”
“Aw!” It took us a few moments to catch our breath, and then I felt that there was so much more to our relationship than just leisurely afternoons spent wiling away the hours. “Don’t you feel the strong bond we have? I would come outside and all I had to do was whistle and you’d come running.”
“I find myself tuned in to your frequency everyday you’re home. I’ve missed you being away… it was so quiet, but I especially missed our talks.”
“That’s what I mean, I told you everything. You were better than a sister; I could tell you anything without fear of you blabbing to mom, or anyone. Being an only child, I needed you.”
“Well, what about me? Just when I needed you most, you up and went away to college.”
Suddenly feeling horrible, “I’m sorry! No really!”
“No, I’m not upset, but it helps to know you understand, and now here you are… getting married.”
“But I’m not moving away, I’ll just be across town, you can call and give me a little whistle and I’ll come running.” I extended my arm to draw her into a slight embrace as I led her into the house.
“Don’t you want to see the catalogues and swatches? I was thinking pale yellow for you, to highlight your golden tresses, and accent your emerald eyes.”
“Oh, Carolyn, I’m going to cry.”
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One suggestion: Read your dialogue out loud. It helps determine if it sounds the way people actually talk.
This flowed well and I enjoyed the ending.