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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: An unspoken mystery
By Tessy Fuller


My hand trailed across my emerging stomach. My heart ran over with emotions. Four more months and I would be able to meet you. What would you look like? Would you have my curly hair? Would you have your dad’s brown eyes? My body was changing each day, but so was my heart. In the days to follow I would leave a little more of myself behind as I created room for you.

Only a mother understands this process. It is a process that no one forewarned me about, but one that enabled me to capture that certain divine essence of being a mother. It is a dividing line between making your life around your family versus trying to fit your family into your life. It is a point of realization when you finally understand that the woman you are up to this point, you will never be again.

It is almost an unspoken mystery. It starts with conception, grows with your expanding belly, and is felt deep within your soul as you hold your first born in your arms. What once defined you as “you” seemingly evaporates as you experience the wonderful gift of motherhood that God has entrusted you with. Embracing this process leads to a blooming of yourself that you never knew was feasible. You find yourself so enchanted with the gift before you that the person you were fades into its rightful place, into the past. Day by day, you grow alongside your child discovering God's mysteries and from that you glean the beautiful ministry of being a mother.

Those that do not embrace this process will wrestle with it, trying to figure out what feels out of place. Some unknowingly have brought with them the shadows of their past and search frantically for the source of their discontentment. These shadows will darken the door of motherhood, embrangling the joy within. They will continue to battle uphill for that “balance” as they try to fit their family into their life.

To prepare myself to become a mother, I immersed myself in prayer and allowed God’s word to become a soluble substance for my heart. I allowed my dreams, my hopes, my future to become moldable in the hands of God as I awaited the birth of my little girl. I was ready to embrace the changes that this child would bring into my life. When my gift arrived on her daddy’s birthday on September 10, 2004 I held her with a heart of praise. I found myself echoing the words of Hannah at the birth of Samuel, "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." 1 Samuel 1:27. From this day forward, I was never the woman I once was, for now I was a mother.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Cartwright05/01/08
You have captured beautifully the heart and soul of a mother-to-be and what it means to experience leaving the old behind to embrace the new. Truly our identity is never the same because our entire selves are now wrapped up in that other tiny being. For me, the first flutter of movement of my first child brought for such tenderness and protectiveness I felt vulnerable in a way I never would have thought possible. Excellent writing and message.
Yvonne Blake 05/03/08
Motherhood is certainly a mystery. It's beautiful and wonderful. Enjoy every moment, for they grow up so quickly.
Well written.
Chely Roach05/08/08
This was so beautiful that I wanted to rub my belly, like I did so often while my babies were in there. It is truly a mysterious, completely all emcompassing change to gestate another human; women are so blessed to receive such a gift. Thanks for this piece.