I had one of those things called a “father” when I was less than five years of age. Didn’t run into him again until I was 22. It is amazing how utterly different our perspectives can become in a short 17 years. At five, I was always crying for my “daddy”; at 22, I just wanted to know who he was. At five, I didn’t understand why my mama and daddy parted ways. I delved into a deep psychological mix of trauma-ridden depression and self-blame for us not being with him any more; at 22, I discovered why my mother left him.
At the age of 12, however, I encountered another kind of father. Father God. I had no idea what was happening to my mind, my body, or my spirit because there was no one to explain things to me – I raised myself, so I had to traipse around trying to figure it [life] all out with virtually no guidance or assistance that had quality and value for the life I was about to encounter. There was no one to cut through the swamp and pithy forest to help me filter out all the information I was receiving – good or bad – until my soul became quickened early one Saturday morning. Up until that point, all I knew was Jesus loves Me, This I Know. That day, I found out Jesus wasn’t just a babe in a manger or a figment of someone’s imagination in church – I found out He was real. He talked to me and left me there crying, not knowing exactly what to make of this sudden discovery that He wasn’t a joke or something to talk about only on Sunday mornings.
I believe I was truly saved at 12, but it would be another seven years before I would really find out Jesus was also no longer a crucified Savior hanging on a cross set upon a hill, but also a risen Savior living in today’s world through the Holy Spirit. That encounter with God took me on a whirlwind tour of the spiritual world that would last another ten years and beyond.
That’s why …
From the time of my sunrise
‘til it sinks in the west
And does not shine on my life again
There has never been a Father
A true one that I’ve known
A Saint among Saints and
A Man amongst Men.
If there was one who taught me
The meaning of life
And brought me
Through the trials therein;
It is my Jesus my Lord
Of the God of His Fathers
Who delivered my lost soul
From the thrashes of sin.
If there were 59 lashes of hell and despair
Raising whelps on the skin of my mind
He took 1,900 more for me
And in Him I should seek and will find …
That 45 years on this earth are only a blink
In the eye of a God who sees a day
As a thousand years of which I’ll never live
But, I thank Him that I’m on my way.
Lord, Happy Father’s Day to You.
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