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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: The Joys of Parenting Again
By Beckie Stewart


Choices. We make them everyday. Most have little impact upon the destiny of our lives, but some significantly alter our lives forever. The decision my husband and I made to adopt our daughter was one of those choices in my life. As a mother of four ranging in ages from12-19 already, the choice to restart our family brought obvious modifications to my lifestyle. My daily routine once again involved diapers, bottles, bibs and eventually potty training. Every trip from the house meant carting along the paraphernalia for caring for a little one or finding a sitter for that cherished alone time. A trip to the theater with a toddler must include popcorn to make it through the entire movie. A meal at a restaurant means high chairs, cups with lids, and an examination of the restroom facilities.

However, with this choice also comes a chance to discover whether I had learned anything from my previous parenting mistakes. What techniques would I use this time to feed my fussy eater? How would I deal with sleeping issues? What action would I take when she broke into a temper tantrum in the grocery store after receiving a “no”? I believed I would be wiser, and was shocked to realize how easy it was for me to cave in to my toddler’s loud outbursts in order to regain my peaceful atmosphere. It quickly dawned on me that this wasn’t going to be any easier the second time around. I still had a lot to learn, but was fortunate to have a husband who was stronger than me in this area. He said “no” and stuck to it, and she survived.

Remembering how quickly the years had passed, I did find that with a baby in my life, my world was filled with uninhibited cuddles, kisses, and hugs again. What a joy it has been to watch a shy, reserved infant blossom into a bubbling, outgoing toddler. How special to have your child, who did not even understand your language, one day look at you and say, “I wuv you, mommy.” Renewed in me was the excitement and delight of having a small child around the house with all the cute ways they say and do things.

If all of that was not enough to adjust my outlook on life, the Lord is using this child to solidify in my heart what it truly means to love my children and to be loved by Him. One of the biggest issues I struggled with prior to adoption was the fear that I may not love my adopted child as much as my biological children. I found myself unable to share this fear with anyone but the Lord. I did find it discussed in some books and magazines, but not a lot.

After months of collecting all the necessary paperwork and waiting for information on an available child for us to adopt, we received a picture and short biography about a little girl from Kazakhstan, who was waiting for a forever family. The moment her picture came up on my computer, my heart pounded with excitement. I found my feelings for her were just like the day I gave birth to my other children. I knew I would give my life for this child as well.

In that realization it finally made sense to me how much my Heavenly Father loved me when He adopted me into His family. I can now confidently say like Paul did in Romans 8:38-39 that I am absolutely persuaded that nothing can separate me from the love that the Father has for me. It did not matter whether my daughter had been born from my womb or not. She is my daughter, and I am her mother. Biological or adoption, being a mommy to a child is born in the heart not in the belly.

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This article has been read 598 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Steff Clark05/01/08
I really enjoyed this very true adoption or birth you learn to love them the same way. Very inspiring for others that are looking to adopt. God Bless and enjoy your times with them, while there little they grow up so fast!
Yvonne Blake 05/03/08
Beautiful! You portrayed your thoughts and emotions very well. This is so good. thank you for writing it.
Marlene Austin05/07/08
Good personal narrative filled with insight. Good job laying out your theme, then sticking to it - would have been easy to tangent on other family members, their feelings, etc. Nice writing. :)
Dee Yoder 05/07/08
A charming entry that shows the heart of a mother is fully capable of loving many children! I especially like the part where you were honest with God about your fears and the tie-in to how He loves His adopted children, too.
Edmond Ng 05/07/08
Your story is well expressed, demonstrating clearly the love of a mother for a child from the heart, not from the belly! Just as Jesus said, "Suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for to such belongeth the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14 NAS), you have illustrated in action the love of God for His children and His creation. May you be blessed as you continue to honor God in all you do. Stay strong and persevere.
Joy Faire Stewart05/07/08
Excellent writing expressing your emotions. I enjoyed the line, "He said 'no' and stuck to it, and she survived." You have shown a true mother's heart and our loving heavenly Father's love.
May Flowers05/07/08
I think you have done what you set out to do. Showing the changes and growth as a person as well as a mother. Showing love that comes from Christ. The struggle to love someone elses' child is also one dealt with by foster parents--we went that route for awhile, and as you so clearly have shown, it really is about God's love for us, in action. Blessings to you.
Chely Roach05/07/08
What a beautifully honest and heartfelt narrative of motherehood. LOVED the last line.
Debbie Wistrom05/07/08
Your story instils hope. Thank you for choosing this part of your life for this topic.
Sara Harricharan 05/07/08
Your last line sums this up very well! I liked the line where the dad said 'no' and stuck to it and "She survived" that made me chuckle. Nice job! ^_^
Joanne Sher 05/07/08
Love the last line of this especially, and the wisdom throughout. Enjoyed the read.
Loren T. Lowery05/07/08
It is obvious through this writing to see that God has prepared both this mother's heart and her family for the new child. How lucky and blessed for all of them. I really liked the way you tied in the fact that we are adopted into the family of God - truly inspired.
Joshua Janoski05/07/08
I appreciate you sharing your story. I think it is wonderful when people adopt children and help them find a happy home.

You said that you wanted red ink, and the only thing that I would suggest is to maybe do more "showing" than "telling" Perhaps you could describe specific events that took place with you and the child, or add some dialogue between you and your husband as you discuss the idea of adoption. It's really up to you how you approach it, but I think letting the reader imagine some things would draw them in more.

Don't get me wrong, this was well written. I enjoyed reading it, and I thank you for sharing it. :)