Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: Three Generations
By Carole Robishaw


Oh Lord, not another one. When are these going to stop? I know I’m to be thankful in all things, but this is hard! Maybe if I open the window? John said I shouldn’t open the windows, it runs the utility bills up too high, but I have got to get cooled off. I can’t take this.

Okay, the living room’s a little cooler than the bedroom; maybe I can survive another one.

Lord, I thank you for my raging hormones, I thank you for …Oh Lord, I can’t even pray about this, Spirit, please pray for me.

“Mom, what are you doing down here in the middle of the night? Why are you standing in front of the fan? Mom, you’re soaking wet, you’re going to catch pneumonia.”

“You go back to bed, Suzy, I’ll be okay soon, it always passes eventually, though I find it hard to believe right now.”

“Oh, it’s another one of THEM! I should have realized, I guess I wasn’t really awake enough to think about why you’re downstairs. Here, sit down, I’ll get you a glass of ice water, maybe it will help.”

“Oh child, nothing helps! I can’t even pray about it any more, I just get so stressed and frustrated I can’t make the words come.”

“But, mom, you don’t need the words, remember. God said he would pray for you, that He understands our needs, even your need to end these hot flashes. He will get you through this, He promised. Now sit down here. I’ll tell you what. You drink this, and I’ll play. That might take your mind off things.” Suzy reaches to the shelf with the hymnals as she sits at the piano. She smiles, at the happy memories, as she chooses from the many well-worn and well-loved hymnals.

“Here, how about this one.”

Suzy begins to play, singing along, barely managing to hold in her laugh.

“As pants the hart for cooling streams,
When heated in the chase.”

“Agh! Stop!” Mom barely gets out while laughing.

“Ooh, here’s a good one.”

“Breathe through the heats of our desire
They coolness and thy balm;
Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
Speak through the earthquake, wind and fire,
O still small voice of calm!”

“Oh my,” Mom barely whispered, “Those are old ones. Which hymnal is that?”

“Grandma’s old hymnal.”

“Yes, I remember her singing those so many years ago, she truly loved the Lord.”

Suzy continued to softly play and sing. She is smiling while remembering peace that had always surrounded Grandma.

“Sometimes a light surprises the Christian while he sings;
It is the Lord who rises With healing in his wings;
When comforts are declining, He grants the soul again
A season of clear shining, To cheer it after rain.”

“How about this one, mom?”

“I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Come unto me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay they head upon my breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was, Weary, and worn and sad;
I found in him a resting place, And he hath made me glad.”

She turned towards her mom and smiled. Mom’s face radiated serenity as she breathed softly in her sleep. All was at peace again for a while.

She pulled a light cover over her mom, turned off the fan and the light, and hummed the second verse very quietly as she left the room, smiling.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Behold, I freely give
The living water, thirsty one,
Stoop down, and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus and I drank
Of that life-giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul rev’ved,
And now I live in him.


Hymns copied from the Service Book and Hymnal of the Lutheran Church in America,  1958

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 682 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 05/02/08
Beautiful...funny... touching! I loved how you interspersed the hymns and the reference of your grandmother in there, too.
Great writing.
Janice Cartwright05/03/08
This was really good. How many mothers, or women in general, can relate to those awful hot flashes. Really nice entry and loved the message. When we can't pray, He will pray for us. Liked the touch of humor, too.
Lyn Churchyard05/06/08
Carole, your entry was very different and very, very good. You had me believing it could very well have been a true account.

I loved the little touches of humor with the “As pants the hart for cooling streams, When heated in the chase.” I'm sure God makes use of our sense of humor at these times.

You've done a wonderful job with the topic. Well done!!

Myrna Noyes05/07/08
I really enjoyed this unusual way to approach the topic! :) I could feel the poor mother's heat, and I laughed at the daughter's choice of a couple hymns! What a good girl she was, though, to play for her mom!
Good job on this piece!
Marlene Austin05/07/08
Unique approach to the topic. Your story line flows smoothly. Really nice writing. :)
Debbie Wistrom05/07/08
You did this well, I could feel for the mother and so glad the daughter could see past her own self to help in the middle of the night.

Keep up the good words.
Joy Faire Stewart05/07/08
Your writing is very realistic and love the sprinkles of humor. Creative writing on topic.
Chely Roach05/07/08
This is very funny...my sister will be getting this link! Thanks!
Sara Harricharan 05/07/08
Heehee! I liked the humor here between mother and daughter. Especially how the 'joke' was played with songs from the grandmother's hymnal! Wonderfully done! ^_^
Joanne Sher 05/07/08
Delightful, fun, and sweet. Enjoyed this very much.
Jan Ackerson 05/07/08
The words of hymns can almost speak to me as much as Scripture can, so I loved this!

Be careful of switching tenses--you went from past to present and back several times. A piece like this works best in past tense, in my opinion.

I love the relationship depicted here--very sweet.