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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: Heart Change
By Pamela Kliewer
04/26/08


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I lay on my side suffering through the most intense, yet most joyous pain I had ever felt in my life. I was about to become a mother for the first (and only) time… on my Mom’s birthday. My husband stayed right at my side, where I could see him whenever my eyes popped open between contractions. Mom rubbed my lower back all throughout my labor. Her gift of love was a refreshing oasis in a pain filled day.

Rebekah Joy entered our world that day, a breath of fresh air. What a joy she has been for these 22 years… and now, I understand what my mom meant when I was a teenager and she would say, “Someday, when you’re a mother you’ll understand.” During those years I didn’t always think the best of her. There were many times when my thoughts were anything but kind and times I would (much to my chagrin) talk to others about her in a negative way. What was I complaining about?Why did I gripe so?

My mom loved me.

When I was a teenager and had done something questionable, my mom would sit on the edge of my bed and talk to me. At that time I thought she was lecturing me – scolding me as it were… but looking back and seeing things from a different perspective now (being a mom myself) I know that what she did was show me love. Her heart washed in anguish over choices I made, she sought to bring my heart back to the heart of the Shepherd.

All this brings to me overwhelming feelings, so much so that I need to insert a letter to my mom – to pour my heart out to her, letting her know the depth of love I have for her.

------------------------------

Dear Mom,

My heart is filled to overflowing – what I just wrote above brought tears to my eyes and the memories of my growing up years, especially my teen years, come crashing through my heart. Those were tumultuous years for me. I don’t think I ever felt very comfortable in my own heart, let alone my own skin. Where did I belong? Where was I going? What was my purpose in life?

Feelings of being lost would bring a pain so fierce that I would go off to my room and shut the door, staying for what seemed like hours. I wanted to shut out the world and the despair that came with it – what that must’ve done to your heart… Did fear reside there? Frustration in not knowing what to do?

Mom, you knew me better than I knew myself. When I was reading and hiding smut novels under my mattress, my attitude reeked like garbage. You always knew . Thank you for not letting me remain in that place of outright sin against God, but taking a stand for righteousness and guiding my heart back to the place of Truth.

When I look back over the years and how I’ve felt about you at times, my heart hurts. I see things clearly now, the haze of my selfishness having been stripped away by the Master Window Washer. You, with the best you knew how, loved me, cared for me, nurtured me. Your heart trusted in the Father’s heart and you passed on to me, knowledge from Him.

I don’t want to say, “If I knew then, what I know now…” That is living life with regrets. All of the ugliness of my heart is in the past, washed clean with the blood of the Lamb.

Mom, I love you. Thank you for giving to me from your heart the gift of a love bathed in prayer and reflected in many ways – the talks, the tears, the moments of laughter, the hugs.

I look forward to moving forward with you through the years into a friendship given to us from the Master’s hand, learning more about you every day… and letting you learn more about me; our likes and dislikes, our sorrows and our joys. I give to you now, Mom, the gift of friendship.

------------------------------

As I wrapped up the letter a verse came mind. It is a verse of honor for mothers, one I gladly claim – Her children and her husband stand up and bless her.(i) This is my stand, here and now.



(i) Proverbs 31:28a God’s Word


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This article has been read 458 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 05/01/08
I can see the change in a reptenant and renewed heart! I liked the heartfelt letter to your mother and especially those familiar lines I think every daughter hears at one time or another. "When you're a mother, you'll understand" Good job! ^_^
Loren T. Lowery05/05/08
The sentiments expressed here are as good as any Hallmark card I've ever read. Your title is so, so good as it ties into your work remarkably well.
Myrna Noyes05/05/08
I can't imagine any mother not being overjoyed to receive such a heartfelt letter on Mother's Day.

I think my favorite lines were: I don’t want to say, “If I knew then, what I know now…” That is living life with regrets. All of the ugliness of my heart is in the past, washed clean with the blood of the Lamb." There's true insight in that!

I also like the way you ended your piece--standing in honor of your mom and her love!

Thank you for sharing this!


Sheri Gordon05/05/08
Wow, Pamela, this is beautiful.

My favorite part was when you realized that the talks weren't "lectures," but were love. (Probably because we're dealing with our teenager in just this area.)

Very nice writing, and nice job with the topic.
LauraLee Shaw05/05/08
This is truly moving. Your letter made me cry. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
Joanney Uthe05/05/08
Very touching entry. Great job showing the contrast in attitude between the teenager years and the mom years.
Chely Roach05/05/08
What a lovely tribute...you and your mom are so blessed.
Willena Flewelling 05/06/08
You've captured so well that feeling all of us moms have felt at some point... understanding of our own moms. And as my own children go through their teens and early twenties, I often wonder why God didn't instill us with that understanding, instead of having us cause our parents heartache borne of NOT understanding.
Jan Ackerson 05/06/08
Very beautiful! Both halves of the story were a pleasure to read.

I'd have substituted italics fo bold for the emphasized words in the first half. Bold is usually reserved for subheadings and the like in non-fiction.

Joanne Sher 05/06/08
Wonderfully done, Pam - great emotion especially. Love the last line.
Debbie Wistrom05/06/08
Wouldn't we all do the teen years over if we had the chance, what a nightmare. You brought back those times, but you covered it with the care and love of your mother, thank you!
Marlene Austin05/06/08
Your title was an excellent choice for your personal narrative. The details you selected showed the reader the change which came about. Nicely done. :)
Joshua Janoski05/06/08
A beautifully written tribute to your mother. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us. This is special.
Yvonne Blake 05/06/08
Full of emotion!
Although the first part is interesting, I think this would be more 'powerful' if you just used the letter. You can tell a LOT in a letter.
Keep writing. You're getting better everytime.
Jeffrey Snell05/07/08
Thanks for letting us eavesdrop on your tribute to your mom. Great job!
Lyn Churchyard05/07/08
Beautifully written tribute to your mother. It's not until we have children (or even grandchildren) of our own that we realise how much our parents loved us. You have done a great job here of showing the comparisons of teenager to mother. Great writing, well done.