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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Easter (05/30/05)
The Prize



Emma awoke happy Saturday morning. Carefully sliding from the top bunk, she managed not to disturb her little sister below. Now big enough to pour her own milk, she ate a bowl of crunchy flakes in silence, trying not to notice that she shared the table with empty beer bottles and smelly ashtrays

While her parents slept from the night before, she got dressed and brushed her golden hair, keeping an eye on the clock; the Easter egg hunt starts at ten o’ clock am. The city park is only about a mile away but the anticipation stirs her to leave early.

The sun on her shoulders is like a thoughtful companion warming her from the morning chill. Arriving at the field Emma focused on the glistening grass spotted with colorful hard-boiled eggs, avoiding the eyes of others. The grand prize, a four-foot tall purple bunny with long floppy ears, then caught her attention.

The park is now buzzing with eager youngsters and their parents. The rules are barked out as the kids try to find their age groups. Waiting for the whistle reveals the impatience of a few errant toddlers running onto the field; everyone laughs.

Someone with good lungs blares the signal to start the hunt. Emma runs with her plastic “Wonder” bread sack, stopping to grab up as many eggs as she can before moving to another patch. Her soaked blue canvas sneakers go unnoticed as she fills her bag. Spotting an egg under a leaf, she snatches it up hardly noticing the red yarn tied around it; it’s THE egg. Pausing in disbelief, Emma straightens up as a smile spreads across her freckled face. Joy spilled from within her to around her like an invisible shield. Unable to speak, she hands the egg to the keeper of the prize.

Slung across her slim frame, she manages to balance her new friend and a bulging catch of eggs. With eagerness she walks home as fast as her numb little toes will let her, anxious to share her good fortune with her family and maybe even a lunch of egg salad sandwiches.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Helga Doermer
06/07/05
A great little story and very real.
Leslie Lamb
06/08/05
All this little story needs is illustrations! Your word pictures were wonderful. Very well done!
Judy Anderson
06/08/05
This was well written. I longed to hear more. A story of hope and strength seen through tarnished and still innocent eyes. Good job.
dub W
06/08/05
Cute, watch the tense shifts. I agree, illustrations a must.
Sally Hanan
06/08/05
Very sweet. I agree with Dub on the tenses changing, try to keep it all in either present or past.
Shari Armstrong 
06/09/05
A nice story, but wish you'd brought in Jesus somehow.
Val Clark
06/11/05
Engaging tale. this phrase: 'she shared the table with empty beer bottles and smelly ashtrays' said everything that needed to be said about her background. So glad she won the bunny.