Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)

TITLE: Uncle Jesus
By W. Yvonne Birnell
04/22/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I remember the day so well. It was an early spring day I was listening to the birds singing, outside the kitchen window, while I prepared breakfast. I knew this would be a marvelous day. You see my oldest son, Bill and his wife, Karen, were having their first child today. We knew it would be today, because the doctor had told us Karen would need help with the baby’s arrival, so they picked this date for delivery.

Ted and I were overjoyed at the prospects of becoming grandparents. The one thing I had never thought of was how this would affect our young daughter. I was about to find out.

You see Ted and I have, a two family situation going on. When we first married, we had twin boys. Bill and Tom, who is now Twenty-one years old, then later, I mean much later, God blessed us with a little girl, Mary, who was now five years old.

Well as I was cooking breakfast that morning, into the kitchen walks my little Mary, “Mama?”

“Yes Mary.”

“Am I still your daughter?”

I turned from the stove and said, “Yes Mary, you will always be my daughter.” I smiled and turned back to the stove. Never thinking where this was leading. I was soon to find out; Mary was a very inquisitive little girl with a big imagination.

“Mama, is Bill and Tom still your sons”

I turned the stove off and gave my full attention now to find out what was on my daughters mind. “Yes Mary, Bill and Tom will always be my sons. Why do you ask?”

“Well, mama, I heard daddy and Bill talking last night and they said, “Daddy is becoming a grandpa, and Bill’s going to be a daddy. Then they told me I was going to become an aunt and Tom would be an uncle.”
“Mama, how can I be your daughter and an aunt at the same time?”

I could see the dilemma this was causing my daughter, so I sat her on my lap and explained. “You see Mary; you can be different things to different people. To me you are my daughter, to Bill and Tom you are there sister. Now what daddy and Bill was talking about last night, is our titles, for the new baby. You will become an aunt, Tom, an uncle, and dad and I, grandparents. Do you understand?”

Mary shook her little head yes and then looked at me so seriously. Then unexpected Mary said, “Mama, I’ve heard you say many times, you are God’s, daughter. Does that make Jesus your brother?”

“Well Mary, I guess you could say that.”

Mary‘s eyes lit up, and the biggest smile I had ever seen came across her face as she declared, “Oh WOW!, then that make Jesus my uncle, right mama?”

My chin hit the floor as I sat there with this precious bundle in my arms. My first thought was out of the mouth of babes.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 380 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 04/24/08
Children have a knack for innocently bringing out deep thoughts about God, Jesus, and all of the things of Christianity we adults often don't even think about! What a nice idea; Jesus as an uncle! Very nice story, that brought a smile to my face today.
Lynn Jacky04/25/08
Hi: The title got me right away. Great read I have grandsons so I relate to little ones questions. Lots of fun to read. Good luck. Thank you for sharing.I really like the ending. Well written.
Bill Obenauer04/26/08
Neat idea for a story. Nice job putting your thoughts together.

This was a good story and if you choose to do anything with it in the future, you may want to have someone proof-read it for you so that the wording does not take away from the meaning of the story. An example would be the subject verb agreement where it says, "Bill and Tom, who is..." Because your subject is plural, it should be, "Bill and Tom, who are..." In that same paragraph the tense does not agree as when referring to the sons' age you use the present tense, but when referring to the daughter's age you use the past tense. Also, make sure to use question marks in questions, and capitalize proper names.

Great story here and I'm sure that as you continue to write you will continue to capture our attention! Also, great title. There was no way to pass up reading a story with that title!
William Stevenson04/26/08
Great Title. It drew me in. I've had similar experiences that left me a little cold. You have allowed your creative to direct you, good. When we allow the critical and grammar to smother the creative we can lose the essence of our tale.
A proof reader can be the answer but do not allow the critical to spoil your story.
Josiah Kane04/28/08
Out of the mouths of Babes indeed. You wrote Mary’s words as though they had just come from a five-year-old. I have very little experience with Uncles, and prefer the baser analogy of brother. There was one word in this story that confused me. You gave the girl the name Mary, normally fine but when the title is Uncle Jesus it muddles the brain. Divine relationships are hard enough without Jesus’ Earthly mother sticking her name in.