Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)

TITLE: Which Aunt
By Carole Robishaw
04/20/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Which aunt is the rich aunt, and which aunt is the one with an itch. Try saying that several times, fast.”

“That. That. That.” I chanted back.

“That’s not what I meant! Aunt Dottie, make her stop teasing me.”

Aunt Dottie replied. “You did say to say that several times.”

“But, but…” Jackie sputtered.

“You have to learn to accept the consequences of your words. So, which aunt is the aunt with an itch?” she chuckled. “You have so many aunts, I can barely keep track of them. It’s nice knowing that we’re all cousins, sisters, or brothers, here at our settlement. Isn’t it wonderful having so many to share the work with?”

“I’m so glad Edward chose my two sisters to marry after me, we were so close as children, now we’ll always be able to share that same closeness. Just as you share the same closeness, since my daughters are your cousins, as well as being your sisters, sharing the same father.”

Jackie giggled. “Has Father decided who will be his next wife?”

“I hope it’ll be Abigale. I really like her, she’s my age. It’ll be fun having my best friend as one of my mothers, but I’m not sure if I’ll enjoy taking orders from her. When I turn 13 next month, then I’ll be old enough to marry, too. I wonder who the elders will choose for me.”

“Oh Rebecca, then you’ll get to be an aunt, too,” Jackie laughed. “Won’t it be fun, having your own babies? One more year before I marry, too. I dream of it often.” Then, voice lowered so Aunt Dottie couldn’t hear. “Do you worry about pleasing your husband? I’m so afraid I won’t, I just can’t seem to keep my thoughts to myself, and I’m terrified that my husband won’t be as tolerant as our Father is.”

“Quick, girls, Father’s home, is everything ready, did you finish setting the table?”

“Rebecca, come here girl.” Father called.

Rebecca hurried to stand, head bowed properly in respect, before Father.

“Everyone, as you know, the Elders met today to choose the brides for this coming month. Rebecca, as you are almost of age, your name was added to the list. I’m sorry to see you go, but Abigale will be coming here, as my new bride. I know you’ll all find that to be good news, as she has a very obedient, selfless, servant’s attitude.”

“Rebecca, I have received the honor of having you chosen to be the next wife of our revered leader. You have obviously caught his eye with your kind heart, and willing spirit, as he has decided he will not wait till next month, but you’ll be married to him in the same ceremony that unites Abigale with me tomorrow.”

Rebecca blanched, silently screaming NO!

“Let us bow our heads and thank God for the bounty He has bestowed upon us.”

“Thank you God for the many beautiful, obedient, kind, and giving, young women you have blessed us with. Thank you for all the Blessings we have received in our children. Amen”

“I’m hungry, is dinner is ready?”

“Andrew, come here please.”

“Yes, Father.” Andrew replied as he slowly came to stand before Father. Andrew was Rebecca’s twin brother, and he wasn’t looking forward to the news he was going to receive. He had been thinking about it for some time now, but had expected another month of reprieve.

“Andrew, as we have moved your sister’s uniting with our revered leader up a month, so we have moved up your time to leave. I know you weren’t prepared to leave this early, so we will give you an extra 48 hours to leave the settlement. I will give you the last address I have for your older brother, perhaps he can help you find your way in the outside world.”

“I know it’s difficult to leave, but you know we can’t have young men around here with all the girls and women. It is difficult for them to obey their husbands if the younger men tempt them. We are commanded to put away that which tempts us, so you must go along with the other young men. I will miss you. You were a hard worker. Tell your mother to prepare your things to go.”

So, which aunt was the rich aunt? And which aunt was the one with an itch, to follow her brother to freedom?


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 519 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Julie Paulsen04/24/08
I must say I felt rather creepy reading this entry. Is it supposed to be a take on what is happening in the media right now? That is even hard to watch on the nightly news.

Joanne Sher 04/26/08
Wow - I feel like there is a lot going on here that is a bit unclear. I also wonder if this is about the LDS thing in the news. I was definitely engrossed.
Debbie Wistrom04/28/08
What a creative out of the box approach to the subject. Well done, keep up the good words. I enjoyed the riddle at the beginning and again at the end. Great job.
Janice Cartwright04/28/08
Satire has been used in the past to shock society into seeing the reality of a particular cultural perversity. This is what I sensed in your story - a purposely light address to a sad, sad circumstance. In my opinion you succeeded, especially with the closing that exposed the true brutality of this cult and lack of feeling for the individual. Good writing.
Jan Ackerson 04/28/08
Very good! I've been intrigued by all of the news of this group, and your story is excellent speculation on what life must be like there. I enjoyed it very much.
Lynda Schultz 04/29/08
This was fascinating and kept me engaged right to the end. A thought-provoking piece. Well done.
Marlene Austin04/29/08
This concept leaves me speechless. I would not even be sure it fits the topic, since who knows what these people are to each other. GAG-G-G

By the way, the writing is well done. :)
Willena Flewelling 04/29/08
Definitely the writing is well done!
Dee Yoder 04/30/08
Oh wow! This really gets to the heart of why this kind of perversity is wrong. The mixed genetics alone makes my science-oriented brain reel. God has reasons why He gives us "rules" to follow and this story really points out the terrible trouble this kind of behavior brings on children. (Do they actually make the young men leave or did you use artistic license on that issue? It makes sense, but how creepy.)
Sara Harricharan 04/30/08
This is very different! You brought this piece to life and so sad too...the ending with the same ryhme you started with was good. ^_^
Sheri Gordon04/30/08
Very interesting story, and the writing is quite good. This entry is perfect in light of current events.

I got a little lost with the dialogue--who was speaking when.

Very unique take on the topic. I enjoyed reading this very much.