The Official Writing Challenge
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04/26/08
Ohhh - this is so poignant and wonderfully descriptive and EXCELLENT. You brought tears (real tears) to my eyes. I can't imagine you'll be hanging out in beginners for long.
04/26/08
This was indeed moving, a very good piece, you were able to do a really good job of catching the raw pain.
04/28/08
Wow (drying eyes now), this was really powerful. As a new mom, who also had a hard time getting my wee one, this really hit home. If the story is true, I hope the parents have found peace and comfort. Thanks for sharing!
Great job capturing the mood of this piece. Being part of a short entry it leaves a lot of questions unanswered for the reader, but being so compelling, hope to read more in the future which will provide some of these answers. The heartache was deftly expressed. :]
Oh I just loved the titke and how you used it at the end. So many of your descriptions hit the mark perfectly.
Keep up the good words.

04/28/08
Great title, and I love the mood of this. There were a few things I'd tweak--like if they're already at the graveside, wouldn't the coffin be closed? But the melancholy here is perfectly rendered.
04/28/08
Lovely emotional writing. You demonstrated the feeling of wanting to hold on in spite of death so well. I was wondering where Christopher David’s parents were all this time, but I suppose including them would take it off topic.
04/28/08
Wow. The title is perfect, and the writing is very good.

I agree with Jan, I was a bit confused about why the casket was open at the graveside.

This is a very good entry.
04/28/08
You are killing me...
What a heartwrenching, emotion, well written piece. Amazing.
04/29/08
Wow, I didn't see the ending coming. Now I know why you said to bring a hanky. You built in enough suspense to keep me reading right to the end—and that ending was incredible. Well done.
Excellent portrayal. I hope the parents find comfort in each other and in God, and don't let that wedge get any bigger...
04/30/08
Oh my. So incredibly sad! I didn't know at first that he'd died, I thought they were in a hospital, but by the end, wow, very well done, but so sad. ^_^