The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/17/08
Oh my goodness-I need a Kleenex. This is a beautiful poem from beginning to end. I love the construction of the verses and the parade through a beautiful life, only to find at the end that this is a life story in which the dad misses out on everything! The heart of the girl/woman shows through and her grief on what she missed from him is clear and vivid at the end. You did an excellent job of disguising the surprise twist at the bottom of the poem.
04/18/08
One word: AWESOME!!

I am not sure why you are Beginners because this is not the work of an amateur. Truly excellent - you have the mechanics of poetry, the flow and rhythm down, and then you were able to create a word picture that blew me away.

Well done.
04/18/08
This is very good. I'm not sure I quite get the last stanza (probably it's just me!), but generally gripping. You had me from the title.
04/20/08
This is masterful!
Michelle, congratulations on your highly commended!
I agree with Jan. Not only masterful, but haunting, with outstanding imagery. Two of my favorites are:
"A bloomed peony in tights and tutu."
and
"The monarch of the prom."
I like the double meaning of "monarch," both of the beautiful butterfly and royalty.
04/24/08
Congratulations on your Highly Commended. All I can say is, "wow."