The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/07/05
I read in your poetry that you are a very loving person. Just a thought. Separate your stanzas', shorten your lines and continue to imagine. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
06/07/05
Good effort. You have some great thoughts. Parts were a bit confusing to me - perhaps if you can try to first write it out as you would speak it, then shorten it up into poetic stanzas, it would get your thoughts across more clearly. I also look forward to seeing more from you. Keep writing!
Blessings, Lynda
06/09/05
This is in epic form, with work and a little editing, you might have some great in the bud here. If you break your stanzas you will improve the pace, but I would like to see this poem explored and expanded. Thanks for your efforts.
06/09/05
I hate to say, ":Me too, me too," but I agree with the others. This is certainly worth expanding. You have made an excellent start.
Very good.
06/10/05
A lot of good images in this poem, but the rhythm seems a bit off.