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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Easter (05/30/05)

TITLE: HE IS RISEN
By karen McLamb
06/05/05


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If I could look at your eyes and I would cry no more tears
If I could wipe dry your sweat, cover my blood
With YOUR BLOOD and fears
then if I could witness like He did and see people set free….
I could speak up as boldly as you did about casting the first stone
Then I will assure you- He never leaves me (us) alone.
If I can feel the pain from your body and mine
He is risen and with us all the time
If He didn’t make me feel the weight of that CROSS only He can carry
The least I can do is praise Him as I tarry.

If I could go back in time and walk like YOU walked
And if more of them had listened as YOU talked
If they would have given YOU love instead of bitter wine
To ease the pain, you would have accepted it just fine.

If I could have stopped the bleeding and cured YOUR wounds so their would be none
I would have been disobedient to the reason why YOU had come
And all YOU have done….
If they would have seen THE MAN who died for not just you and me
But those come will still see if people will just believe HE is risen….
Again!


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This article has been read 593 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Debra Bowers06/07/05
I read in your poetry that you are a very loving person. Just a thought. Separate your stanzas', shorten your lines and continue to imagine. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Lynda Lee Schab 06/07/05
Good effort. You have some great thoughts. Parts were a bit confusing to me - perhaps if you can try to first write it out as you would speak it, then shorten it up into poetic stanzas, it would get your thoughts across more clearly. I also look forward to seeing more from you. Keep writing!
Blessings, Lynda
dub W06/09/05
This is in epic form, with work and a little editing, you might have some great in the bud here. If you break your stanzas you will improve the pace, but I would like to see this poem explored and expanded. Thanks for your efforts.
Linda Germain 06/09/05
I hate to say, ":Me too, me too," but I agree with the others. This is certainly worth expanding. You have made an excellent start.
Very good.
Shari Armstrong 06/10/05
A lot of good images in this poem, but the rhythm seems a bit off.