The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/18/08
It's lovely to read about your father's care for you. You brought some good points out about feeling impatient, too, and the way to trust God with learning to be more patient.
04/20/08
Good idea, to both compare your father to your Heavenly Father, and to contrast them.

I'd suggest that you start with a stronger "hook"--the first two sentences could be elminated, and you could start with your disease. It's more likely to attract interested readers.

I too have struggled with impatience, and need to just give it up.