The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/18/08
What fun--I hope you read this to him on his birthday!

Be careful with meter--with a more consistent meter, your poem will flow better, and be easier for your readers to "hear."
04/18/08
What a wonderful birthday poem, and what a wonderful pop. Nice job.
04/19/08
Enjoyed this - sounds like a wonderful man. Improved meter would make this flow better, but otherwise this is lovely.