The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/18/08
From the moment I started reading I was captivated. Your closing sentence is one of the strongest I have read in a long time.

What is so sad is there are men (and women) like this all over the world - always looking for the next get rich quick scheme, without realising the heartache they cause in their families.

You showed very clearly how your character was torn between her love for her father, and his obvious love for her, with the realisation that he was not making wise financial choices.

Excellent work.
04/18/08
This is excellent - you won't be in beginners for long. I love everything about this.
Oh my, what a predicament to put you in... "Don't tell your Mom." LOL I can just see your mom asking "What's your father hiding?" Mothers are good at that. You have done a great job with this entry. I particularly loved the final sentence. Well done.
04/23/08
You did a good job of showing how a person can take your emotions and spew them everywhere. Quite an intriguing story. Your readers get hooked right from the get-go.