The Official Writing Challenge
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Interesting. I felt your physical and emotional pain in your "failure". Good description. I like your expression, "gravel laced knees". I enjoyed this one.
04/17/08
Excellent descriptions and word pictures. Wonderful, wonderful message. I'm not positive this is considered entirely on topic (a bit iffy as to who the "main focus" is), but it is a VERY strong piece nonetheless.
04/18/08
In my opinion you should be bumped right up to Advanced! This was an excellent piece of writing. Your imagery and descriptions are strong, and your sense of pacing wonderful.
This is good. You are an excellent writer.
04/18/08
This story is very three dimensional. I sensed the characterization, emotion, story line, and setting thoroughly. It was masterfully woven together.

I agree that it may of leaned a little off topic, but I enjoyed the spiritual parallel. It is present in all of our relationships with our fathers.

Wonderful writing. Keep it up.
Very well written. I particularly liked the line "And at that moment of surrender, every other person and every other care in the universe faded and it was just my dad and me." Well done.


04/19/08
Thank you for talking about the "Father I know". He picks up up when It hurts the most.
04/21/08
I loved the parallel between the earthly and heavenly fathers and the descriptions are wonderful. Keep up the great work!
04/21/08
This is exactly the way a devotional should be written--starting out like fiction, with a great lesson tucked into the middle, then back to the story. Beautifully done.
Many truths espoused here. Nice job. :)
Aaron, you did a wonderful job with your first challenge entry.

It is true that you wrote about your heavenly father instead of a paternal parent (which might be slightly off topic), but I am so glad that you went with what was on your heart. Your writing talent is evident in this piece, and I look forward to seeing many more challenge entries from you in the coming weeks.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. :)
04/23/08
This could be a devotional. I love the parallel between earthly father and heavenly father. It's great, I especially love how you captured the feelings of being held, scared and then glad to be just Dad and me. Great job. ^_^
04/24/08
Congrats Aaron on placing 2nd this week, awesome writing of a awesome story. Keep it up!
04/24/08
Congrats on 2nd place. I really enjoyed this. It had a great message of how to deal with our failures.
04/24/08
Congratulations on your 2nd place. This is a great devotional--wonderful word pictures. Very good writing.
04/25/08
Aaron, in my personal opinion, this one is better than the first-place winner. It sings!
04/30/08
Oh Aaron, I loved this. I'm so glad your comment on my crazy entry stuck out (like a sore thumb:) so that I was curious enough to check out your profile and to read this prize-winner. Wow! It made me cry. I love my Daddy that much, yes I do. He picks me up everytime and He sets me straight again. Love this. Oh so good! So good.
Laury