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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)

TITLE: Legacies
By Carole Robishaw
04/03/08


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I don’t remember my Grandpa very well, just little bits and pieces, but one really prominent memory is from when I was about seven, and he came for a visit one day bringing me and my sisters big stuffed animals. Mine was a big, brown, monkey, with white plastic “tennis” shoes. I loved that monkey till I wore it out many decades later.
My Grandma died before I was even born, but I have heard stories about her. She ran a boarding house, taking care of her seven children, while doing all the washing, cooking, and cleaning for the boarders. While Grandpa was too busy trying to earn a living during the depression, taking jobs that ranged from being a street vendor to working as a butcher, to think of the long-term future, Grandma worked to instill eternal values.
She must have been fairly successful, because her legacy includes several grandchildren who have made it their lives endeavor to spread the word of God, some through books and speaking engagements, others from the pulpit, while for some it is just by what others see in our lives, as we attempt to “walk the walk.”
It is hard to imagine that I have lived longer than my grandma did, she was only 53 when the Lord took her home for a well-earned eternal rest, and I think that now she must look down on us in wonder at how far we have come, or maybe I should say traveled. From a simple farm family, scrapping by to make ends meet, this generation now consists of world travelers, pastors, missionaries, authors, computer programmers, teachers, and so many more occupations I can’t even remember them all. Most of us have been to college, and we are spread out all over the country. We never see each other, not even at the proverbial “weddings and funerals” any more. We have all lost touch, and just occasionally hear rumors of what the cousins are doing.
I think that while grandma would be pleased at how many of us have come to believe as she taught, she would be hurt at how far apart we have grown.
My grandparents strove to keep the family together, and healthy, to put food on the table, and clothes on their backs. But the most important thing in their lives was for family to just be family, to be a part of each others lives, to share good times and bad, to laugh and cry together, and to pray together. This is the same legacy I would like my grandchildren to have, what I want, and pray for, for them. Someday I plan to give my grandma a big hug and say “thank you” for all she left us.


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This article has been read 528 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joshua Janoski04/10/08
What a great tribute to your grandmother. She sounded like a wonderful woman. It is awesome to see how her influence has allowed so many ministries to go forth in your family. I hope that you can all once again unite together, rather than being spread apart.

This sentence didn't make sense to me:

While Grandpa was too busy trying to earn a living during the depression, taking jobs that ranged from being a street vendor to working as a butcher, to think of the long-term future, Grandma worked to instill eternal values.

You might want to restructure it a bit. Maybe take out some commas and split it up into separate sentences with periods instead. Also, there were a few other minor grammatical errors, but this kind of stuff can be easily fixed.

I enjoyed your story. Keep on writing.
Lyn Churchyard04/10/08
What a lovely memory to have of your grandmother, even though you never met her. I particularly loved the last line... "Someday I plan to give my grandma a big hug and say “thank you” for all she left us".

Remember to put spacing between your paragraphs, it makes the entry easier to read.

I enjoyed reading this, well done!

Dee Yoder 04/10/08
Grandparents are a true blessing to a family. It's true, also, that many families have little time to spend together with their extended relatives-grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins-what a shame. I enjoyed reading this account of your grandparents and what they have brought to your life.
Carole Robishaw 04/11/08
Thank you for your comments.

I'm a newbie, and this was my first challenge entry, and I didn't know how long it would take to reach the 200 quota, so I rushed my piece.

This time I am taking my time, and hopefully my sentences will not be as convoluted, though my mind tends to work that way.

It made perfect sense when I wrote it, but in re-reading it after a week's time, I can see the problems. Carole L

Jan Ackerson 04/12/08
Welcome to the writing challenge! I'm glad you found it, and I'm glad you found the message boards, too.

You already know that there are some grammar errors, so I'll mention something else, since you asked for suggestions. With 200 entries, you want yours to stand out in some way, so find some way to make yours unique. This is a lovely story of your family's legacy, but there's not much here that's substantially different from the stories of many other families. Use your full 750 words, add one great family story, or if necessary, write this essay more like a fiction story, to help us to get to know the characters better by their dialogue and their actions.
Chely Roach04/12/08
Very nice story here; I too would've loved to seen it drawn out, highlighting a particular event or memory. I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
Joanne Sher 04/13/08
Lovely memories here. I enjoyed this.
Marlene Austin04/13/08
Nice job, Carole. Lots of "heart" in your writing. Don't let yourself be too rushed by the limit of entries. Because of work, family, etc., I once had to wait until Tuesday night and was still able to get my entry accepted. Take heart. :)
Debbie Wistrom04/14/08
What an accomplished family, I agree with grandma that it is too bad that they haven't stayed in touch. Much heart in this entry. I too would have liked more words, a few specifics.
Joy Faire Stewart04/15/08
Loved the memories you have shared.
LauraLee Shaw04/15/08
This is a GREAT first entry.
Sara Harricharan 04/16/08
This is great! I liked your opening, especially the details with the tennis shoes, that made this part more believable.


   
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