The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 417 times
Member Comments
I could definitely feel Jen's nervousness as she prepared to share her very important testimony.

Some missing punctuation in places, but my biggest concern was with the ending, which seemed tacked on and rushed.

I'm not sure why there was a podium in a house--or had she gathered her family in an auditorium? Hmmmm...

This is worth a second edit; you've got an important story to tell.
This is a very good story and right on topic! Good job. Jan is right. You have some punctuation errors. Fix those up and work on your ending a bit and you'll have an even better story!