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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (03/06/08)

TITLE: The Last Witness
By Pamela Murphey


‘Thump, thump, the whole room can hear my heartbeat,’ Jennifer thought to herself. ‘Calm down, breathe, Jen you’ve got to get hold of yourself. Picture them naked; NO don’t think we’ll be doing that. Okay everyone is here, let’s go Lord’
Jen said a silent prayer, ‘Oh Lord thank you for bringing me here, I thank you Holy Spirit for being with me, for giving me the words to speak. Lord, I admit I’m scared no, I’m petrified, but you told me to do this so… I am. What if I only thought I heard you? No, I trust in the Lord with all my heart, I lean not to my own understanding but acknowledge you in all that I do and you keep my path straight. This is it Lord, the rubber meeting the road, I choose to trust you.’

Jennifer stood to the podium and spoke to the small group in the room, “I know you are wondering why I’ve called you together today” Jennifer’s voice shook slightly as her hands wrapped tightly on the podium to keep them from shaking.

“Yeah, what’s so urgent Jenny baby, why are we here?” asked her mother Katie, a short stocky fair woman with strength oozing from every fiber of her being. Mom is the boss, over everybody and everything. Jen’s mother loved her, but always left Jennifer feeling as if she’d let her mother down in some unknown way.

“Jenny, you have us all scared half to death,” her mother continued in a deep warm voice, “you know your brother’s upset he’s not here.” Jeff was always Mom’s favorite. Jennifer was not worried about Jeff; she knew he was totally in agreement with her. In fact they’d prayed together over the phone last night.

Jack her younger sibling piped up in Jens defense, “Hey Mom lay off her, you can tell whatever she has to say is important. Go ahead Jen you take whatever time you need, just remember I have to go to work on Monday.” Everyone let out a nervous laughter, relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Well uh, first let me thank everyone for showing up,” Jen thought no turning back now, “I do have news, I’ve found Jesus”

“I didn’t know he was lost, hey do you have Prince Albert in a can to? Jack, always the clown had the room laughing.

Jen looked over at her brother with affection, “Jack, listen to me, this is important, this is my future and I want you all to be a part of it. That’s why I called you here; I want to share this treasure with all of you. Murmuring spread through the room like a wave,

“Oh great! A bonafide Jesus Freak in our own family,” said Terry who did not like any kind of change.

“Jenny, baby, don’t you know that we’ve all been going to church for years. We’re good people; we give to charity and don’t commit any real crimes. Doesn’t that make us good enough? Why do we need Jesus?” Jennifer’s mother asked.

Jennifer felt a tremendous sense of urgency as she shared each scripture with her family and close friends. She shared how Jesus forgave her, loved her, died for her and rose for her. Some became angry, some argumentative, some even became belligerent and just stormed out. While others were completely content with the lives they were leading. They loved the lives they led but listened anyway while making mental shopping lists as well as thinking of things that need to be done on the way home. Others were curious and wanted to know more

Jen finished sharing the scriptures that allowed her to find Jesus with, “The only way to the Father is through the Son and the Word tells us seek the Lord while he may be found,’ That‘s why I’m here, time is short, there’s none to waste, you must hear me now, you must make your choice to accept or reject the Savior.

“Thankfully her mom, Jack, Terry and many others in her group of family and friends chose Christ for within moments of Jennifer taking them through the sinners’ prayer, the rapture occurred. Those left behind in the room looked around and wondered what had happened. They finally decided it’d been a big practical joke and said they’d have to find a way to get Jennifer back. They nervously chuckled as they left deep inside they knew they’d made the wrong choice.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 03/14/08
I could definitely feel Jen's nervousness as she prepared to share her very important testimony.

Some missing punctuation in places, but my biggest concern was with the ending, which seemed tacked on and rushed.

I'm not sure why there was a podium in a house--or had she gathered her family in an auditorium? Hmmmm...

This is worth a second edit; you've got an important story to tell.
Laury Hubrich 03/15/08
This is a very good story and right on topic! Good job. Jan is right. You have some punctuation errors. Fix those up and work on your ending a bit and you'll have an even better story!