The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 566 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/08
This opened well, and it was very creative. Be careful to stay in the same tense--you opened in past tense and ended in present. I liked your setting tremendously.
03/13/08
This was very creative. These puppeteers did make the most of their days for the glory of the Lord! Thank you for sharing this!
Laury
This is very good. I like the rythym of the puppeteers story. A creative take on this weeks topic. Great job. Keep writing
03/14/08
As someone new to the faithwriters' website, I'm impressed by your creativity in merging narrative and drama (puppet lyrics). I'd encourage you to continue using your creativity to expand narrative. As you look over the narrative sections of your text, look for repeated words from one sentense to the next. Often the way to avoid them is to substitute synonyms using a thesarus. Also, during the editing process, I recommend recording yourself reading your narrative text aloud. When you play it back, listen for sentenses that begin in the same cadence (have the same rhythm). If you hear some, re-arrange their phrases so readers have a varied experience. These are aspects of improving my own writing which I need to remember to work on.
I enjoyed this immensely creative tale, which would shine even brighter with a bit more editing.
You really made me feel like I was there for the performance.
I look forward to your future entries.
What a wonderful way of relating the topic. I loved the way you have used repetition to get across the feeling of the importance and urgency of the Gospel message. Caterina and her father are a great example of 'making hay while the sun shines' to bring others to Christ. I think you captured that with the line "Disguise was their element of survival, performances were their means of communication to the Sicilian people, and SACRIFICE WAS THEIR CHOSEN LIFESTYLE."
You know, my family comes from Germany and we used to watch our friends do marionette shows when we were kids. This brought back such great memories. It is well written,comming from some one who is a beginner and not one who writes poems, I'm not sure what that will count for, but I could follow it and even leaned forward in anticipation to what was going to happen next! Very good work!
03/18/08
Wow! This is an excellent piece. It could easily be developed into a drama.
03/18/08
I love this--don't believe I've ever seen something liek this on FaithWriters before. I like the way you framed the puppet opera in a brief narrative.

Be careful with the tenses--the narrative part should have been all in past tense.

I love the rhythm and repetition of the opera. Excellent!
03/18/08
I can't believe I'm reading in the beginners section! I was involved in the puppet ministry for many years. I wonder how I ever got away from that. You have inspired me. What imagination, what creativity, what inspiration! This is outside of the box for sure. Brilliant and wonderful!!! Thank you so much!
I don't give awards, but if I had one for creativity, I'd tattoo a blue ribbon right on this. Very brave. I liked the feel of the piece. The title set the tone, which the first of the story had trouble keeping up with, but when it caught up, it became almost brilliant. Keep working, I am very impressed. I doubt you'll be in Level One for long.
A very unique entry for this week's topic. This look like it took a lot of work to think up and write. Good job! Keep on writing!
03/19/08
The was wonderfully creative...well done. I am anxious to see what you have for us next time!
Unique. Very nice, appears to be some musical training here. :)
03/19/08
This was very good. I definately see you placing well with this entry. I can't wait to read your future entries.
03/19/08
Wow, so creative. Keep up the good work!
This feels real to me on many levels. Much talent and creativity here. KEEP WRITING and thanks for the brick or I might have missed this touching entry.
03/19/08
Oh WOW! This is neat! A favorite of mine this week. So creative with puppets and lyrics. You did really well with the merging and getting it all to read so well. I felt sad at the end that they didn't get away and the soldiers came. But they did what they could to spread the good news-well done! ^_^