The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 894 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/08
Good illustration and moved along nicely with good dialogue. Don't forget to close your inverted commas.
03/14/08
This has a good lesson in it.
Good use of dialogue, although I got a little confused with too many characters. Also, put commas around the person who is being addressed, to make it easier for the reader to understand.
Nice ending.Thank you for writing this.
03/15/08
I enjoyed reading your story. I also like the title.
03/16/08
Perfectly on topic, and good pacing.

Perhaps a feww too many characters and scene switches for ultra-short fiction.

Great job with the irony of the ending.
03/16/08
What a great lesson for all of us.Everything in God's time.
03/16/08
This is nice. It is on topic and has a good message. The ending is great! As for improvements, you have already received some great advice above. Keep writing! You have some great ideas.
03/16/08
Very well done; you had a good opening, a creative entry, and a smacker of a lesson at the end.
03/16/08
He certainly learned his lesson, didn't he? Your dialog is very realistic, and I was engaged. Nice writing, Lynne!
03/16/08
Oooh, your title nailed the story. Very good illustration of the topic...well done.
03/16/08
The characters are so very engaging and I love the wallop at the end for the persnickety pastor. Enjoyable story, Lynne.
Great job on the details of character actions, i.e., fingernails digging into his shoulders, arms looping around him to give him a hug, etc. Good writing. :)

This is a good story. I would like to have seen one more paragraph in which the pastor falls on his face before God and repents for his pride.
03/16/08
A bit much for an old geezer like me to keep up with, but great job. Enjoyed it. God bless.
03/16/08
Good lesson here! Great writing.
Good story. Good use of dialogue to "show." I thought that pastor seemed a tad too selfish to be believable (though I'm sure there could be some like this.) I wanted to wring his neck (which showed your great writing...I was invested in the story.) I liked the irony of the ending. Nice!
Too bad the preacher let his pride and vanity keep him from making a good investment. Sometimes we have to learn to just step aside from ourselves and let God move us in other directions. Usually that is when we receive the greatest of blessings.

Enjoyable writing as always Lynne. :)
A very good lesson for us all! I too agree that the scene/character switching was a bit much for a short piece but you put it together well and I was able to follow it. :)
03/18/08
A scathing warning to all, not just ministers. Your dialogue was lean and effective. Watch puncuation and spacing--tricky when posting on FW, I know!
Oh that Pastpr!!! You did a great job with your two main characters. Would like to see more descriptions of the holier than thou pastor, keep writing.
03/18/08
That pastor gave me an icky feeling from start to finish! Makes me want to make sure I'm NOT like him!
03/19/08
heehee, I like your title, a gold-plated pulpit. That's hilarous. I liked how you managed to flesh out all the different characters in such a small piece. That was really good-especially the ending. I wanted to get that 'pastor' who couldn't think past himself. lol. You did good here! ^_^
Your writing style is very engaging and the way you tied everything with the dialogue, tag lines, etc was great. Neat story line, too! Great as a matter of fact.
I liked your story very much. What a prideful man the pastor was. He deserved his lesson in the end, but it's a shame the whole church had to pay for his vanity. Great message. Nicely written.