Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
297
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Every Dark Cloud has a Silver Lining" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (02/28/08)

TITLE: Project American Freedom
By Celeste Ammirata
03/05/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I can’t believe it. Is this some sort of joke? Jake thought after Mr. Holcombe, his history teacher and wrestling coach announced the pairings for their projects.

He glanced around the room, his angry eyes resting on Alana. He returned her shy smile with a disgusted grunt.

Okay, my life is over. I’ll be the laughing stock of the wrestling team, of the whole school!

The bell rang and he hung back as the other students filed out.

“You want something, Jake?”

“Yeah, I want to know if assigning Alana as my partner is your way of punishing me for that prank I pulled on Kevin.”

“You mean the prank where you hid his leg brace while he was in the pool? And you and your friends laughed at him as he limped around looking for it?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like we hurt him or anything,” Jake said, angry that he felt even a little ashamed. After all, they didn’t actually hurt Kevin; and it didn’t take him too long to find the stupid brace.

Mr. Holcombe looked disappointed and shook his head. “I assigned Alana as your partner because I think she could help you with the project.”

“Help me? She’s from Russia. She can barely speak English. What could she know about freedom in America?”

“She’s from Kosovo, and she’s your partner. That’ll be all, Jake.”

“But……”

Mr. Holcombe’s look told Jake the conversation was over.

Over the next couple weeks, when Jake ignored her attempts to get his input on the project, Alana would just smile shyly and go back to writing.

Nothing seemed to faze her. She had a quiet calm about her and he found himself thinking about her more than he’d ever admit. Sometimes he found himself wishing for the simple peace that shone in her eyes.

And when she started showing up at his wrestling matches, he told himself the sudden pounding in his chest came from being pumped up for the match.

A week before the oral presentations were due to begin, Jake caught up with Alana in the halls, “Alana, do you want to get together over the weekend so we can work on our report together?”

“Sure Jake,” she answered. It sounded musical, the way she said his name. And when she smiled up at him she went from being plain to pretty. His heart double pumped and this time he had no wrestling match to blame it on.

They met on Sunday. “Hello Jake. Congratulations on winning tournament yesterday. I read it in newspaper.”

“Thank you. Have you always liked wrestling?”

She beamed up at him, her blue eyes bright. “Ah, yes. My brother, he wrestled in Kosovo.... before the war. He was almost best in our country.”

“Oh yeah? That’s impressive. Does he still wrestle?”

“No.” She shook her head. “During the war soldiers found him hiding his friend, a Muslim. As punishment, two men held him up as another shot at his legs. Too much....wreckage. Doctors cut off both legs.”

Jake felt like he had been punched in the gut. “Is he here in America with you?”

“No.” She sadly shook her head, “There was no food. Too much infection.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “He died one week before eighteen birthday.”

“I’m sorry Alana, that’s horrible.”

She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Thank you, Jake. You know, you people in America do not know how blessed you are. In Kosovo, during the war, we could not worship God without fear of prison or death.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

Her eyes lit up, “And grocery stores! I cry when I see all that food. It is great blessing. We were happy for loaf of bread. And school. How blessed you are, such wonderful education. And no landmines....America....she’s truly the land of the free.”

In spite of her strong accent and broken English, Jake understood her perfectly.

And for the first time in his life he considered his many blessings and gave thanks to God. He thought of Alana’s brother. And Kevin. And every careless, heartless thing he had ever done; and for the first time ever, guilt consumed him. He asked God to forgive his sins. Sins he had never realized he had committed.

Jake stared at Alana in wonder. How could he have been so wrong about her? Smiling, he shook his head. He’d have to remember to thank Mr. Holcombe.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 691 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shelley Ledfors 03/06/08
I love this! What a great reminder of how blessed we really are. Well written, wonderful dialogue and a great illustration of the topic.
Jan Ackerson 03/09/08
This is very, very good. We are far too complacent about what we have here in America, and your Alana was a wonderful, and humble way of reminding us of this.
Seema Bagai 03/10/08
Great story. I enjoyed reading it.
Shirley McClay 03/11/08
Such a sweet story! Great job. You had me from the first word to the last :-)
Yvonne Blake 03/11/08
Wow! This is well done!
I liked how you gave that 'teenage' attitude to Jake. Alana seems like such a sweet girl. You added a lot of character without actually saying it.
Great writing.
**This SPARKLES**
Glynis Becker 03/11/08
Great job on the dialogue...I could really 'hear' her broken English. This is a wonderful take on the topic. Keep writing!
LauraLee Shaw03/12/08
This is VERY well-written and extremely realistic. I like this story for the topic, because it contains a silver message as well.
Patrick Whalen03/12/08
What a great reminder to all of us...and what a great teacher for recognizting the valueable "teaching-tools" in his own classroom.
Chely Roach03/12/08
Awesome story, and very well written. Loved it.
Sara Harricharan 03/12/08
Wow. This is powerful. I loved the character of Alana and how she managed to change Jake without really doing anything, but being herself. The change in character is amazing and I bet she's a great silver lining. lol. Nice! ^_^
Mandy White03/12/08
What a great story! I love how Alana won Jake over with her sweet spirit. We really take our freedom for granted.
Shayne Catoe03/12/08
I liked the gradual change that took place in Jake's life until he was finally overcome with remorse and ultimately gratitude for what he had. I also enjoyed the dialogue between the characters. Keep up the great work and God bless.
Lauryn Abbott03/12/08
Wow, what a beautuful story. Very well written, and the characters had great depth. Thanks for sharing this and reminding us all how precious our freedom is!
Sara Harricharan 03/13/08
***Congratulations on your win!*** It's up to leve 2 you go! ^_^ Great writing!
Chely Roach03/16/08
Congratulations! What a well deserving piece...
Jan Ackerson 10/24/08
Celeste, I'm planning to feature this awesome story in the Front Page showcase for the week of November 10. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page, and congratulations!
Kristen Hester 11/11/08
I hate to admit it, but I hardly ever read the showcase articles...just not enough time in my day. But yours really caught my attention and I couldn't stop reading. Excellent!
Kate Grey11/13/08
Beautiful story, and well done. Great use of dialog.
Sharlyn Guthrie 11/16/08
This is a wonderful story! I remember one year we had an Ehtiopian family come to our Thanksgiving dinner. When we went around, telling what we were thankful for, we were amazed and humbled by their thankfulness for America! It's so easy to take our blessings for granted. I'm glad your story was featured this week.


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service