The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/07/08
Wonderful story. Right on topic and beautiful. Thanks for sharing! God bless :)
Good job. Thanks for sharing. :)
03/08/08
Hi: This story reminded me of the prodigal son in Scripture - only 'prodigal daughter' I enjoyed it immensly.

Had a laugh at the beginning grand daughter's part was great (I have a grandson) had tears in the middle and joy at the end. Stories should touch our hearts. This one did mine. - You should send this somewhere - Hearts stories, God Allows U Turns, or Chicken Soup for the Soul.

"Good one." Grandma - I agree with Prudy.

Thanks and keep up the excellent writing.
This needs a bit of editing. For example, when you attatch a tag after dialogue, such as "I am here." Shelly declared, it should be "I am here," Shelly declared.

Anyway, I liked the way the characters in the story had their own unique voices.
03/10/08
I can just see Grandma and granddaughter sitting in the swing together talking. Lovely story. There are a few problems that can be easily fixed. Keep on learning, keep on writing!
Laury
03/10/08
The relationship between the grandmother and granddaughter is very precious.

There are some errors in punctuation--dialogue, missing commas, unnecessary periods, etc. Perhaps check out a website with those rules and examples?

This is a very tender story.
03/10/08
Very sweet! I love stories about grandparents and grandchildren! One suggestion that helped me is to be careful not to repeat words... ie.. listen... get creative and use another word that means something similar. Keep writing.. the more you write the better you'll get!
03/11/08
What a beautiful and tender story that tugged at my heart strings.
03/12/08
Sweet story. I would suggest working on the grandmother's dialogue. The way an adult would speak to a young child is different than the way she would if she was speaking to another adult. Keep writing. With some corrections, this will be a great story.
Sweet, for sure. Even with the punc. errors the story was great and had a super message. Be encouraged.
03/12/08
A heartwarming tale. I love the scene, and your characters. Great story for this topic!