The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/07/05
Very nice piece of poetry. Encouraging and honest. Just a thought...Maybe break it up into stanzas? It makes it easier for the average reader to hang in there, "smile".
06/08/05
Sounds like you know whereof you speak. Good teaching about our Lord being there in our pain. That is a big AMEN. :0)
06/09/05
Nice poetic flow through most of the poem, I see some great potential for shape if you rewrite it. Some of your pacing got off just a bit, but all it all a very nice submission.
06/10/05
A wonderful poem that many can identify with the sentiiment here.
08/23/05
Very inspiring poem.
Well done.

I agree with B Bowers about the paragraphs.
Consider putting spliting it into paragraphs for better comprehension.
This is what I mean:



When you want your heart to soar
high into the clouds.
Yet pain and heartache is all around,
and your up to your knees,
stuck in the ground.
You try and you try,
but seem to go no-where.
You cry and you cry,
and no-one seems to care.
Remember how Christ suffered,
He suffered with grace.
He called upon His Father,
and soon He touched His face.

When all around you seems
to be falling about,
and all you want to do is shout.
Shouting and letting everyone know,
that your pain has become hurtful
than the fiercest wind could blow.
Remember how Christ suffered,
He suffered with grace,
He called upon His Father,
and soon He touched His face.

And when at night,
the lonieness time of all,
the stars don't seem to sparkle,
they don't shine at all.
And time seems to stand still,
you're afraid to close your eyes.
Afraid of the nightmares,
that can enter your mind.

Just remember how,
Christ suffered, He suffered with grace,
He called upon His Father,
and soon He touched His face.

So think, remember that pain is something that life is about.
Give Christ His due,
give to Him your shout.
He'll listen, for He knows about,
the pain and suffering
you are going through.
Remember He suffered,
yes, He suffered with grace.
And if you're quiet when you pray,
you'll feel His gentle touch
upon your face.

So, don't fear, don't cry,
for no matter your pain,
Christ will be with you by and by,
with all your suffering, time and again.
08/23/05
Bridge the space before 'Just think'