The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/10/08
This is a nice poem. I like this line especially, "He came to save the lost
Jesus made a Royal Sacrifice
All that you must do is pray
A very simple prayer
All that you must do tonight
Is say Lord Jesus come into my life
I want to rest in your loving care."

Good job!
Laury
03/10/08
"Now I rest safely in His care".. i like the contrast with how your MC felt at the begining.
03/10/08
This could go on a bookmark--very nice.

You might want to tweak it a bit for rhythm and meter--try for a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables per line. It flows better for the reader that way.

Thanks for this short and lovely poem.
Good, brief presentation of the gospel in testimony style. You could leave out an unnecessary word now and then for the sake of the meter, and use punctuation: it helps a staggering meter. Good work.
Nice poem. Good job. :)
Nice poem. Good job. :)
03/12/08
Very nicely done. I noticed one typo - 'King of Kings' not 'or'. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!